•9:31 PM
I can't believe I'll never do it again.
Today is the anniversary of the last time that I gave birth. That's right, it is Addie. C. Jones' birthday.
You might have assumed that I would tell you all about the birthday cake, and the look of surprise, and the presents, and the sweetness. And, I could tell you about those things because they all happened.
But I cannot stop thinking that I will never do it again. Give birth, that is. It is not to be taken for granted because not every woman gets the opportunity. Some choose to avoid it altogether. But not me, I would do it again in a minute ... it's the eighteen-month through three-and-a-half-year-old stage that I would choose to give up.
Giving birth invokes a feeling you just cannot get anywhere else in life, in my opinion. Truly. I often joke that I would rather give birth than hold a yard sale; and that is true. I would rather give birth than do a lot of things. I would rather give birth than deal with the two closets upstairs that are waiting for me ... honestly. It is the most incredible experience that I have been a part of. It cannot be duplicated, and each one is unique in its own way. Everyone has their own story, right? It is something that you do, by yourself, but with your child. Nobody else. Mother and child work in unison to bestow the gift of life.
I am a lover of all babies ... little ones, chubby ones, even the not-so-cute ones. I would very happily sit for hours and hold a baby ... in fact, when Caiden was new and I had the luxury of time, I did so ALL THE TIME.
When I was eight years old, my Uncle and Aunt had their first baby ... a little boy named Perry. I loved him as if he were my own. My Grampa loved to tell the story of the time he dropped my Grama and me off for a visit, leaving just as baby Perry was placed on my lap. Grampa returned two hours later, to find Perry and I still sitting comfortably in that same chair. There was no television on, or music playing, just me sitting with this sweet little bundle enjoying my time with him. Of course, it never dawned on me that perhaps my Grama would like a turn to hold him ... I can be a baby hog. Ask anyone who knows me.
So, it is sad for me to think that I will not have another little baby to sit and stare at, and rock, and smother with love. My uterus is aching. Jonesy is shaking his head. My body says "no more" ...
But still, I can't believe I will never do it again.
Happy Birthday, my sweet little Addie C. Jones.
You might have assumed that I would tell you all about the birthday cake, and the look of surprise, and the presents, and the sweetness. And, I could tell you about those things because they all happened.
But I cannot stop thinking that I will never do it again. Give birth, that is. It is not to be taken for granted because not every woman gets the opportunity. Some choose to avoid it altogether. But not me, I would do it again in a minute ... it's the eighteen-month through three-and-a-half-year-old stage that I would choose to give up.
Giving birth invokes a feeling you just cannot get anywhere else in life, in my opinion. Truly. I often joke that I would rather give birth than hold a yard sale; and that is true. I would rather give birth than do a lot of things. I would rather give birth than deal with the two closets upstairs that are waiting for me ... honestly. It is the most incredible experience that I have been a part of. It cannot be duplicated, and each one is unique in its own way. Everyone has their own story, right? It is something that you do, by yourself, but with your child. Nobody else. Mother and child work in unison to bestow the gift of life.
I am a lover of all babies ... little ones, chubby ones, even the not-so-cute ones. I would very happily sit for hours and hold a baby ... in fact, when Caiden was new and I had the luxury of time, I did so ALL THE TIME.
When I was eight years old, my Uncle and Aunt had their first baby ... a little boy named Perry. I loved him as if he were my own. My Grampa loved to tell the story of the time he dropped my Grama and me off for a visit, leaving just as baby Perry was placed on my lap. Grampa returned two hours later, to find Perry and I still sitting comfortably in that same chair. There was no television on, or music playing, just me sitting with this sweet little bundle enjoying my time with him. Of course, it never dawned on me that perhaps my Grama would like a turn to hold him ... I can be a baby hog. Ask anyone who knows me.
So, it is sad for me to think that I will not have another little baby to sit and stare at, and rock, and smother with love. My uterus is aching. Jonesy is shaking his head. My body says "no more" ...
But still, I can't believe I will never do it again.
Happy Birthday, my sweet little Addie C. Jones.
3 comments:
Oh Jill...I feel your pain. I too would do it again and again and again. I think of it often, (Oh Erin, no more babies)and I have recently been thinking about again because friends of ours are being induced on Thursday. My heart keeps saying, "one more", my brain, body, sanity says "nope, you've done your share, focus on the beautiful children you have" I think it is something all mothers experience in one form or another when they decide to not have any more children. It explains why our mothers are so anxious for grandbabies. It's how I know that one day my daughter will roll her eyes at me, just like I did to my mom when the question pops up "So, when are you having kids???" Anyways, I sympathize. Birthdays can be bittersweet can't they?
Give Addie C a big birthday kiss from all of us.
:)
I feel exactly the same way. I would give birth a thousand times if I could. People often shake their heads when I say this and offer that I wouldn't be saying it if I'd had an uncomfortable or difficult pregnancy but that's not the case at all. My second was a very difficult pregnancy but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I love pregnancy, I love birth and I love newborns.
I could give up elements of the 3 year old and 5 year old chaos that I'm barely surviving now but I wouldn't give up a second of pregnancy or birth.
Great post!
Happy Birthday Addie!
Thanks for the kind words ladies. I guess, I'll just have to wait until someone else has a baby and I can just sit and hold it.
Erin, you could be that person!! Except #3 creates a whole new family dyanmic ... you have to move to a zone system of defence; I find it very difficult!!
Kathy, thanks for the words of encouragement. And, by the way, aren't ALL pregnancies uncomfortable? Haven't met a pregnant lady yet, who is super comfortable ... whether she has constant nausea or a baby wedged into her diaphram!!!
Thanks for reading.