•12:03 AM
One night just before Christmas I was looking for something to do, other than obsessing over the Barbie Dream Camper, so I read Ellen Foster
written by Kaye Gibbons. I love character studies and was immediately drawn in by Ellen. She's funny and resourceful and insightful; I really liked Ellen. Most importantly, she is a survivor. The story details how she came to live with her new mama, as Ellen refers to her. It is difficult to think that some children are forced to survive in this way, where they become the parent and have to fend for themselves. Ellen Foster walks away from her devestating childhood, relatively "normal" (whatever that is) and happy. She is a suprisingly strong little girl and she has learned from the things that she has had to endure. In contrast, my little girls become over-wrought with despair if their pink marker dries up or if their tights are not the exact shade of their skirt. Ellen Foster was happy to have any clothes to wear, even when she knew they were hideous, and the few trinkets that she owned were truly treasured. If I were to run into Ellen Foster now, I'm sure she would still have that microscope she bought for herself when she was eleven.It is interesting that Ellen is eleven years old when she loses her mom. There is something about losing a parent at that age that impacts on the child's life forever. I am not implying that if your parent dies when you are eight or seventeen years old, it is any less traumatizing. However, it seems that when a child is that age, they have a very difficult time moving passed it. Rosie O'Donnell has talked openingly about the devastating loss of her mother when she was eleven years old. In his book, Dispatches from the Edge, Anderson Cooper details the loss of his father at the same age. I was left wondering what happened to Ellen when she grew up.
I was moved by the awesome impact of Ellen's new mama and the meaning of the foster care system to Ellen. You close the book believing that a foster parent can make a real difference in the life of a child. Ellen's new mama sounds like a wonderful woman, sewing curtains to match the bedspread in Ellen's bedroom and cooking homemade food with love. Most moms do these things; you and I know that but Ellen really appreciates them. Ellen makes mention of her new mama rubbing the girls' backs in an effort to comfort them. You know, I do the same thing all the time, and actually caught myself rubbing Caiden's back just the other day while I was talking to him. I hadn't even realized what I was doing, but I understand now that it is something a parent unknowingly does out of love. To comfort and sooth their child. Touch is important to a child and Ellen Foster illustrates that idea perfectly.
When I finished with Ellen, I followed it up with Kaye Gibbons' A Virtuous Woman
. If you continue to follow this blog, you will soon learn how much I love words and their meanings. And by considering the various meanings of words it can change your perspective on things. Jonesy is responsible for this ... he always uses words in ways that make you think. He is an artist with puns. I'll admit, it can get a little frustrating and annoying sometimes, but for the most part it has forced me to look at things in a new way and it usually makes me laugh. Don't tell him but I often think of the pun/joke before he can say it. Which means that in some respects I have started to think like Matt Jones. This scares me.Anyhow, you will notice that I refer to Dictionary.com all the time.
Getting back to A Virtuous Woman, I had to consider the word - virtuous. Dictionary.com defines virtuous as conforming to moral and ethical principles, and being morally excellent. But, what are the principles, and who decides that a particular quality/characteristic is virtuous. Jonesy, of course, knew the answer to this. He referred me to a website that was all about virtues and it lists commonly held virtues -- I am sure you've thought of a few yourself. Love, bravery, gratitude, responsibility. But the website, explores a different approach to the notion of virtues. The author introduces the idea that virtues come in complimentary pairs; so that for each virtue there is an opposite partner and if we tend to favour one (virtue) over the other, one becomes over-extended and the other weakened and stunted from growth; when, really, no one is any more beneficial than the other. For instance, if we agree caution is a virtue then its opposite would be bravery. If I ignore caution, I will become reckless and take too many risks. However, if I do not embrace bravery I will be cowardly and surely miss out on opportunities. One must find the balance between the two virtues because one virtue is no more valuable than the other. Try it -- think of a quality that you think is a virtue. Now consider its opposite and how you must balance the two ideals in your own life. Honesty is a virtue, but is it necessary to be completely honest in every situation? It is an interesting take on the term, and it could change the meaning of the title of the book because it implies there is something special about Ruby Pitt Woodrow. But aren't we all virtuous women?
A Virtuous Woman opens in the same way that Ellen Foster does -- talking about death. Dying and death and loss are strong themes that run throughout both novels. The story is told alternately in voice of Ruby and her husband, Blinking Jack Ernest Stokes. To be honest, in the early parts of the story Blinking Jack's description of his wife does not lead me to love her the way he does. He does it subtly but nonetheless, it influences me. And maybe I don't like her because I find smoking cigarettes so vile and disgusting. Maybe if I did smoke, or I had smoked in the past, it would not repel me so much. In the beginning of the book, Jack describes repositioning her hands while she lay in the coffin because he wanted to hide the nicotine stains on her "two ashy-smelling fingers." Honestly, what is there to like about that?
I don't know if I like Blinking Jack either and I can't for the life of me figure out why the two of them ended up together. Do you know a couple like that? I know a few, and most of the time it just makes me sad. The only reason I can come up with, is that one of the partners thinks they cannot find anyone else who will love them; which is unfortunate. It's the best explanation I can come up with for Jack and Ruby, too. Jack even says as much, I think. Jack is a simple man who enjoys a simple life. In the end, he is able to overcome his grief by replacing his wife with a piece of land. And, it seems as though Ruby accepts a life with him as punishment for the bad decisions she has made in the past.
After Ruby's first disastrous husband leaves her, she looks in an old mirror and says out loud, "'I'm doing the best I can.' Lord, we will tell ourselves anything to get by." That is so true, don't you think? Sometimes you have to lie to yourself, just for awhile, to get through something really bad. And it is okay, because it is your brain's way of protecting itself. See? You don't always have to be honest.
Both were good reads. Very thought provoking ... I'm still thinking about them ten days later. And I won't soon forget Ellen Foster ... she's a keeper.
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