One Woman's Search for Everything
Author: jill
•7:58 PM
For as long as I can remember, my Mom has always told me that she likes to savour a book. And I have always thought that was one of the craziest things I had ever heard. Savour a book? Who savours a book? One should savour food, not a book.

I finally understand what all this savouring in my Mother's (reading) life has been about. Usually, I am one to plow through a book that has captured my attention ... reading while cooking, reading while supervising children outside, reading whenever I can.

I have finally finished savouring Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am not the kind of person who gets involved with fads and the mainstream cutting edge populace. I am more of a traditionalist, who does what she wants because she wants to. So, when I tell you that I absolutely loved this book, it is because I absolutely do. Not because lots of other people do. If I could eat this book, I would ... that's how much I love it. And I would savour it.

I feel like I endured some therapy after having read this story, and that Liz and I each made transformations of our own because we are both different people when the story is finished. She made me realize things about myself and taught me the importance of balance in my life. You cannot just focus all your energy into one thing and be fulfilled.

Eat Pray Love has been on the New York Times Best Sellers List for 158 consecutive weeks, so I am willing to bet that you have (at least) heard of this book. It is the true story of "one woman's search for everything." She is looking to find balance in her life and to find balance within herself.

Gilbert is probably the opposite of a momoholic ... she is a momophobe. She doesn't want to have children and this realization is the catalyst for all the changes she makes in her life. She divorces her husband and leaves her rebound man to set out on a journey of self-discovery.

Gilbert first goes to Italy in search of pleasure ... and since she has taken a one-year vow of celibacy, she finds pleasure in food. She truly enjoys the regional food of Rome and the cultural traditions associated with food. For instance, in Italy, after watching a soccer match, the fans go out for ... get ready for it ... cream puffs. That's right, they all crowd into their favourite bakeries and celebrate (or drown their sorrows) with cream puffs. I am trying to imagine Jonesy and his buddies going out for cream puffs after a Michigan Wolverine's football game, and I'll be honest, I just can't see it.

The idea of four months in Italy is a dream for me. I would love to go and experience the life there. Not for just a two week vacation ... but live there in a small apartment, and wander along the cobblestone streets, down to the local market for fresh produce, followed by a stop at the Butchers for local meat and cheese. Roaming the countryside in search of new people and foods. Have you ever taken the time to really enjoy food? Appreciate it for its flavours? The idea of truly enjoying food was introduced to me in Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food. He talks about eating seasonal, locally-produced food and taking the time to sit at the table and truly appreciate its flavour. Gilbert lives in Italy for four months learning to speak Italian and enjoying food. She begins each day by asking herself what she would enjoy doing.

What would you like to do today? Take every obligation and person you know and shove them out of your life - just for a minute - and ask yourself what you would enjoy doing. I think she began each day with a cappuccino and a newspaper, which she read leisurely. Like, with no one asking her for juice or toast or anything. Bliss ...

But I would miss them by lunch time.

Gilbert talks about her failed relationships with men a lot. She put it into terms that I could really relate to ... in a totally different way. She identifies her biggest problem to be that she doesn't understand boundaries, nor does she respect them. When dating a man, she was utterly, head-over-heels in love and she lost herself in her man. She wrote about friends telling her that she actually looked like whomever she was dating. She would become that person.

Sound familiar? The idea of not having boundaries describes my relationship with my children. I became them ... I lost myself in them and their needs. I honestly could not separate myself from them at times.

Does this mean that I get to go to Italy for four months and read and eat the best pizza in the world and try gelatto for the first time? I didn't think so...

Gilbert leaves Italy and moves to India, where she lives in an ashram for four months. An ashram is a secluded residence used for religious retreat. She uses the time to master meditation and to find her spirituality in pursuit of devotion. She studies under her Guru.

I have mentioned in the past that I am not a religious person ... I have too many questions. However, I do not think that meditation is solely for the purpose of finding God ... I think it is about quietening your brain ... letting your brain rest. Then, I believe you can find peace within yourself and perhaps understand your own spirituality.

Spirituality does not equal religion or God. I think there are many people who believe that if you are a spiritual person, you have a deep faith in God. I do not. For me, spirituality is more of an energy ... an energy that eminates through our bodies connecting our physical selves with our souls. According to Dictionary.com a soul is the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body.

Okay, this is gettin' heavy.

Suffice it to say that I would be very excited to visit the ashram, and try to centre myself through meditation. I'll let you in on a little secret ... I tried to meditate a few times. I actually bought a book to learn more about it back in the days of infertility. I thought that if I could quiet my body and reduce the stress that I was feeling, then perhaps all systems would work as they should. Meditation can be rejuvenating ... this was the theory I worked from. I can say that meditation is not something that you just decide to do. It's hard to sit quietly ... in fact, these days, I can hardly imagine sitting quietly for more than three minutes.

I think that it was during her time at the ashram that Gilbert made the most strides toward centering herself and finding some peace. You could almost feel the calm descend over her.

For her final four months, Gilbert travelled to Indonesia in search of balance. She wants to learn from a Medicine Man, Ketut Liyer.

You know, I wasn't even sure where Indonesia was on the globe ... I have rectified that problem. Of course I had heard of Bali ... but I didn't know that it was in Indonesia. I guess I should have paid more attention in Geography class. Ugh.

I think that I would travel all the way to Indonesia just to meet the Medicine Man, Ketut Liyer ... and judging by the videos on YouTube, there are women who have actually done so. The Medicine Man agrees to teach "Liss" (as he calls her) about Balinese meditation in exchange for her teaching him to speak better English. And so their friendship begins.

Liss spends her four months in Bali making new friends, helping them with their struggles, learning some of the customs and eventually, finding love once again. And yes, she practices Balinese meditation.

For a woman like me, who feels as though she has lost a little bit of herself ... perhaps a little bit of her spirit ... this book was just what I needed. And, I can imagine myself re-reading parts of it when I am feeling like I have wandered off my path.

There is a movie coming out in the summer, starring Julia Roberts. I'm sure it will be fabulous ... but will it be better than the book? Absolutely no way!!!! I'll see you there ...

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I Hate When This Happens
Author: jill
•12:10 PM
You know, I hate when this happens.

Because I want to seem all scholarly and knowed. Especially on my very own blog. But, again, I find myself a little embarrassed; however, this time I am not embarrassed because I have never heard of the author of my most recent book.

I am embarrassed because I was completely wrong about my most recent book.

I just finished Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson. I was prepared to write about how I just didn't understand what all the excitement was about ... and by excitement, I am referring to the 2005 Pulitzer Prize it was awarded along with the 2004 National Book Critics Circle Award for Fiction, and the 2005 Ambassador Book Award. I just was not getting it ... until the end, when I shed tears and felt embarrassed at my stupidity. And now, I feel a little sad because I will miss Reverend John Ames and his thoughts.

Marilynne Robinson is a teacher at the University of Iowa. She wrote her first novel, Housekeeping, in 1980; Gilead is her second novel, which was published in 2004. I am intrigued to read Housekeeping, and have added it to my list of books to read when my challenge is finished - it looks like something I would really enjoy.

Gilead is a series of letters written by Reverend John Ames, for his son. Ames, who is seventy-six years old, has learned he is dying of heart disease and knows that he does not have much longer to live. And yet, he feels there are some things he wants to impart to his seven-year-old son; lessons on life, so to speak. Now, you may think it odd that a seventy-six-year-old man has a seven-year-old son; however, when my Grampa was born in 1913, his father was seventy-two years old. Could you imagine having an infant in your care at the age of seventy-two? I can barely cart around an almost-four-year-old at the age of almost-fourty-one ...

In the Bible, "Gilead" means hill of testimony or mound of witness, (Genesis 31:21), which describes the very essence of this book. It is a testimony of John Ames and his thoughts and his values. Gilead is also the name of the town in which Ames has resided his entire life and it is very much at the heart of the story.

Although John Ames writes the papers as a way of communicating to his young son, he uses them as makeshift confessional for himself as well. He is able to express the loneliness he experienced after his first wife died ... to reveal, and therefore relieve himself of the anger he feels toward his father ... and to declare his love for his wife and young boy ... to explore his relationship with his namesake, John ("Jack") Ames Boughton, who is his best friend's wayward son.

If you were to write to your children, what would you want them to know about you? And, don't just say that you would want them to know how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Really think about it ... what do you want them to know? Do you have any regrets? Are you really proud of something you accomplished? Did you do something really stupid and you want them to learn from your mistake? Do you have a specific memory that you want them to know about? What were you like as a child? What is the scariest thing you have ever done?

It would be an interesting exercise. As I'm sure you can imagine, even before I read this book, I had thought of doing the same thing. But, maybe this blog could be my notes to my children. Maybe they could learn something about me as a person by reading these entries, instead of just knowing me in my role as a momoholic. I know that it is a difficult step to take because Marnie giggles uncontrollably whenever I mention that I once worked in an office, with my very own desk and computer and fancy telephone, two lines ringing at once. Caiden just stares at me, until finally, he'll say, "You're jokin', right Mom?"

John Ames wants his son to learn lessons like, "... mind what you say. 'Behold how much wood is kindled by how small a fire, and the tongue is a fire' - that's the truth. When my father was old he told me that very thing in a letter he sent me." Ames adds his own thoughts or a memory into the entries, making an example of his own life.

He is funny sometimes, too. He imagines how he will be found when he dies, and he wants to make it dramatic. So, while waltzing around (alone) in his study, he tries to consider which book he should be clutching when he is found dead. Something that will go on to be considered a recommendation for reading since it was found grasped in the hands of the Pastor when he died. John Ames amused me sometimes.

Ames also details his family history and, in doing so, reveals his thoughts on father-son relationships.

This book is written without chapters. You know, I had never read a book without chapters until this challenge, and now I have read three. This story does have many breaks because it is written like entries in a diary, however it is not dated. Some entries are five or six sentences; others are three or four pages long. It is easy to read in bits and pieces, like I am often required to.

I had a very hard time getting "into" this book. In most novels, the reader is introduced to the characters and the setting within the first couple of chapters - you get to know your way around, so to speak. I don't think Ames' son ever gets named, and his wife's name is not revealed until near the end of the book. At the beginning of the story, each entry wraps up the thought ... that is, you do not need to continue to read to find out what happens. I had a very difficult time feeling drawn into the story. I appreciated what Ames had to say, but I was not sure that I cared to continue reading.

You know, when your Grampa tells stories ... stories you have heard before, or stories of "the old days," or useless anecdotes. Well, useless at the time. The beginning of the story was like that for me. Vaguely interesting, but useless at the time; yet really missed once it's gone. Just like my Grampa and his stories.

One of the reasons I may not have cared to continue reading is because it is a very religiously based book. And, I am not a very religious person. In fact, I out-right disagreed with a number of Ames' religiously-based ideas, and sometimes I did not like him. But other times, I really, really loved him ... for the sweet person that he was.

Eventually, I did start to care about reading it; you can tell, because I begin to "shush" my children and beg them for "five more minutes" until I have to get (insert anything a child may want/need here - legitimate or otherwise). I read through the last third of the book quickly, slowing my pace as the end neared. Because I did not want the end so near.

I am so thankful that I continued to read. Because, by the last entry, I came to appreciate what a wonderful person John Ames was, and that there were many things that we could all learn from him.

And, I did really cry at the end of the book. It made me sad to think that he had died, and that his son would grow up without his Dad. A really great Dad.

I feel rushed to read. I wish that I didn't ... but I do. So, when I pick up a book, I calculate when I should be finished reading it. To stay on track. On an intellectual level, I know this is wrong ... I am reading to expand my knowledge and open myself up to new things/ideas/people. But, apparently, I am competitive. I would never have called myself competitive, but I guess I am. Because I do not want to have read fewer than one hundred books by December 31st.

Ugh ... I always do this to myself.

I hate when this happens.
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The Things I Learned at Kaaterskill Falls
Author: jill
•12:18 PM
When I was nine years old, my parents bought a cottage at Rondeau Park. Actually, they co-owned it with my Aunt and Uncle. We would spend the summer there and as many weekends in the Spring and Fall as my parents could manage. I have so many wonderful memories of those years that I was shocked when my Mom told me they owned it for only three years. We played for hours in the woods that ran alongside our property, using our imaginations. You remember, right? That is what kids did before The Disney Channel and Wii consoles. We went for bike rides, as a family, and on nature walks through the trails in the Provincial Park. No outing was complete without an ice cream cone down by the big dock, enjoying the creamy coolness while we watched the fisherman reel in their catch. My brother would spend his days fishing, and I played at the beach behind our cottage ... in the sun ... with suntan oil instead of sun screen. I know ... the 1970s were crazy times!

But what I remember most is the parties the adults would have. Lots of laughing, campfires, late night smelt fishing ... and Mr. Bill. Do you remember that skit from Saturday Night Live? "Oh no, Mr. Bill ..." I can still hear my Uncle talking for hours in his Mr. Bill voice. And if I played my cards right (no pun intended), sometimes I would get to stay up late and play UNO with the adults - eating junk food and drinking pop. But even if I didn't get to sit around the card table, I could lay in bed listening and still feel a part of the party anyway. These are the kinds of memories I wish I could give my children.

Kaaterskill Falls by Allegra Goodman revolves around a Jewish community that summers in Kaaterskill, New York in the late seventies. The women and children stay in rented bungalows during the week and their husbands join them for the weekends. The Kirshners are strict Orthodox Jews and seem to live a simple life. I was a little unsure where the story was going when I began to read it ... there were many characters and the story changes perspective, so I was getting confused. However, I came to truly love this story and I didn't want it to end. This is the kind of book I like to keep, just to have nearby. I cannot explain it, but there are some books I read that I cannot part with. I think it may be that I already know I will want to read it again. Do you ever do that? Read a book more than once? I happen to have borrowed this one from our local library and it will be with a heavy heart that I say good bye.

I am beginning to wonder if all good novels revolve around religion, because again I find myself faced with the issue of religion. This time it is different, because I do not know much about Jewish religion. And, this is not something I am proud of. In my hometown, where I grew up, there was one Jewish family that I can think of. When I asked, I was told that the Jewish religion was very much the same as the Christian beliefs except they were still waiting for the coming of Christ. So, their belief system and teachings were based on The Old Testament. And, the rest of my Jewish experience comes from the Rabbi on Seinfeld. So, you see, my understanding of the Judaism embarrassing.

After a little research, I learned that Judaism is not based on a book of beliefs at all, but ascertains its identity from upholding the traditions of their ancient founders. It is based on actions instead of beliefs; how you behave (or should behave) governs the path your life takes. I found some of these governing ideals very archaic and unrealistic for a woman in today's culture. However, I am open to the idea that one should take responsiblity for one's actions because it is easy to say you believe in something. It is easy "to say" that you are religious and go to Church every Sunday but do your actions support your words? Orthodox Jews, like the Kirshners in Kaaterskill Falls, are the most conservative group, retaining nearly all traditional rituals and practices. At the opposite end of the spectrum, Reform Jews retain their Jewish identity and some traditions but take a more liberal approach to many Jewish beliefs and practices. There are many rituals and celebrations that practicing Jews participate in, and I was unsure of what some of them were as I read. In fact, there were many words that I had to look up in order to understand what was being celebrated.

Rav Kirshner and his followers are at the centre of the novel. Rav has two sons, Isaiah and Jeremy. Jeremy is the oldest of the two, brilliant, well educated and learned, but does not follow Judaism as strictly as he should to remain in good standing with his father. Isaiah works alongside his father, studying with him, trying to learn from him, running the synagogue with him, and caring for him when he falls ill. However, he will always fall short of his father's expectation and live in the shadow of what his brother could have been. Always. While Isaiah craves his father's praise and respect, Jeremy throws it away, not wanting to be a part of it. "He does not want to be, nor is he, the vessel of his mother's dreams. Nor can he be anymore his father's tragedy ... His father's objections have been silenced, as has his mother's praise."

Kaaterskill Falls tells the story of the Jewish woman. Did you know that in the synagogue, the men sit one side and the women sit on the other side ... separated. Because they are not considered equal. Men make the decisions; and more importantly, the Rav makes all the decisions that will affect the community. For instance, when a woman wants a (paying) job, she must get permission, first from her husband and then from the Rav. If a follower wants to open a business, he must get the Rav's blessing which is only given if the Rabbi feels it is in best interest of the Jewish community. Sometimes, the Rav will not speak directly to the women. Actually, although he is greatly respected, the Rav in this story is not warm and fuzzy at all.

The women in the story are all so different but they are the same. Elizabeth Shulman is in her early thirties, she has five daughters and she is restless. Her youngest daughter is three years old, and Elizabeth is looking for a challenge. Something to stimulate her brain ... sound familiar? Religion is an instinctual part of her and she is not looking to change that. However, she wonders ... "What are the opportunites for someone who has only been a mother? Not merely a mother, as if it were unimportant, but only a mother. All consumingly." Elizabeth has been a momoholic but she is seeking recovery now. And in that way, I can relate to Elizabeth. I feel bad for her because she does not live in the twenty-first century, like me. She is living in 1976, and the role of women, although changing, was not the same then as it is today. Elizabeth wants a "chance to shape something that cannot become anything else, only hers. To truly create something, material, definable, self-limited." If only she could have started a blog and challenged herself to read one hundred books in one year.

Elizabeth takes the path less travelled when she asks permission to open her own kosher store in Kaaterskill for the summer months. But she becomes overly zealous, wanting more, and makes a mistake that costs her the one thing that she truly enjoys. When I say that she wants more, I do not mean that she wants to earn more money. The thing that makes Elizabeth a success is that her motives are not based in earning money to become really rich; she is successful because she really enjoys what she is doing. Haven't you ever noticed that the fancy dessert you spent hours on always turns out the best when it is something you enjoyed working on? As opposed to the times when you threw something together in a hurry because you had to. Elizabeth enjoys having something of her own that makes her brain function in a new way. She is stimulated and becomes alive. Many successful people have talked about the same thing, explaining that their business was born out of an interest, something they enjoyed doing. However, when Elizabeth loses the Rav's permission, she becomes an outsider. She does not feel a part of the community she has belonged to for so long. "... she admits the disjunction between her ideas and his plan for the Kehillah. The disjunction was always there, but it was inside of her. Private, familiar. The Rav broke it open, wounding her, making her confess it." I appreciate her feelings because taking a chance is not always embraced by all.

It seems as though all the women are unhappy and feel restrained. Nina thinks that perfecting her religion, she is perfecting herself. Rachel is the exact of opposite of Elizabeth; she is happy channelling her energy to ensure the success of her husband. "Her ambition for Isaiah is uncompromised. He is her profession, and his future is her life's work." Stand behind your man; support your husband and his endeavours. Of course, this is part of having a successful relationship/marriage in my opinion, but you can lose yourself in trying to support the man you love. Again, this I know too well.

Mrs. Schermerhorn is the librarian of the Kendall Falls Library; proud and watchful are the words used to describe her. She examines each person's selection of book "as if to judge whether she is worthy." Jonesy and I just had a discussion on this very topic. He was wondering whether the clerks at the book store judge people based on the type of book they purchase. I don't think they judge but I do think you can tell something about a person based on what they are reading. For instance, when he brought home the Living Raw Food cookbook, one could assume that he is a liberal thinker who is interested in health and is considering carefully what he consumes for food. The same is true for what you find in someone's grocery cart. Don't pretend like you don't do it ... we all check out the contents of each other's grocery carts. I don't do it to judge, I do it because it entertains me. It can tell you a little bit about the person who is behind you in line. For instance, I can tell a bachelor without even looking at who is pushing the cart; how old a person's children are; if they have children; if they like to bake; if they are having a party. I do the same thing with shoes ... checking out the shoes a person wears can tell you a whole bunch about the owner of those shoes. Think about it.

And so, number three is done. And I learned some things ... again. In fact, the next thing I read will be a recipe for kugel. What is kugel? It can be a dessert, I think? And I know I've seen a recipe for Noodle Kugel somewhere. Something new to research.

By the way, Kaaterskill is a real place and reminded me a little bit of the Rondeau Park I grew up in - the small grocery store, park with the nature trail, beaches for swimming. I think that next year I should make it a goal to visit all the places I have read about this year. Now, that would be exciting, wouldn't it? And I could blog about my travels ... does anyone want to hire me?
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Religion in The DaVinci Code
Author: jill
•1:24 PM
This is the second of two posts on The DaVinci Code. If you would like to read the first post, click here.

It was snowing this morning, as I walked the kids to the bus stop. Addison joined us because it looked like it would be fun ... walking in the snow, that is. Fresh footprints, the sounds of crunching snow as we walked. Do I have faith, I asked myself. Sometimes nature invokes self-reflection, and after a few days with The DaVinci Code, it seems this was the case with me this morning.

I have written this post three times. If you know me, you also know that I love to talk but there are a few things that I do not relish disussing. Money, politics, vaccines ... and religion. I think the reason I do not enjoy exchanging ideas on these issues is because, at their core, they are just personal choices. Choices that you have to make on your own; and what you choose to do/think/believe should not impact on what I choose to do/think/believe. Because it is personal.
Why am I going to talk about it? Well, it is at the core of The DaVinci Code. But, I am going to tread lightly, I think. My thoughts are certainly not intended to offend, just provoke thought ... and for some, that can be difficult.

Dan Brown references the word scotoma, in which he describes it as the brain's ability to use powerful preconceived notions (in the form of symbols) to block out inconsistencies seen by the eye. Dictionary.com defines scotoma literally as a blind spot. I love this because it so true. It is the idea that you believe something because you have been told it is true over and over, and when confronted with information contradicting your beliefs your mind protects you by blocking out the inconsistencies, overriding what your eye sees. Imagine a picture of a glass of milk - what comes to mind? Wholesome, healthy, nutritious ... makes a body strong, right? It is breastmilk from a cow, people. You do not need to drink milk to be strong or healthy. Now, imagine a glass of milk from a hippopotamus. Same thoughts jump to your mind? Probably not. I read recently that the brain is lazy and it searches for information that will agree with what it already knows and it ignores new information that conflicts with those ideas. Many of you will ignore what I have just written because it is easier.

Imagine for a moment that everything you learned at Sunday School was nothing more than a story. For some, this is almost incomprehensible. Most people I know grew up attending Church on Sunday. We learned about the Bible because our parents learned about the Bible when they were little and growing up. In fact, I can remember my Mom saying that one of the reasons she went to Church was so that I could go to Sunday School. I guess it was one thing she didn't have to teach me herself. She could take care of proper table manners, thank you cards, making my bed ... but leave religion up to the Sunday School Teacher. And, we did not question the teachings of our Church - they were just fact. The end. Just like I did not question table manners or writing thank you cards. However, after I learned the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny, I should have thought to ask about the story of Jesus, too.

I have always relied on facts. It is how my brain operates. Give me the information, I will assimilate it in with what I already know and I will generate an opinion. If the new information does not fit in with what I already know, I will seek out more information. Dictionary.com defines faith as a belief that is not based on proof; at the cornerstone of religion is faith. Belief in God/Jesus without any proof. Some will say that The Bible provides all the proof we need. But I need a reference source, something to authenticate the story and many are poking holes in the story; it seems that one question leads to another. The DaVinci Code forces many questions ...

To research it all for yourself would take a huge load of time; and frankly between three kids, reading one hundred books in one year and the laundry, I just don't know if I'll be able to fit it in right now. But it would be a real journey ... maybe next year.

I believe there was a man named Jesus Christ, who was a powerful leader. I even believe in many of the ideals he taught - honour thy parents; do not murder; do not covet your neighbour's house/wife/ox; do not steal. These are all great values to live by and I teach them to my children. It's the part about the Virgin Mother and the Kingdom of Afterlife that I have reservations about.

Religion is based in fear, or in instilling fear in others. Scare others into thinking like you do. Safety in numbers, right? Conformity. Be like us. Do what we do. Join our group. It is actually the hallmark of adolescence. And we expect these young kids to find their own way ... some do and others get lost. To be completely honest, I respect those who have a strong belief in God/religion. It is wonderful that so many have found something that gives them strength to get through difficult times and bring them together with other like-minded folks. What I do not understand is why some individuals/groups find it difficult to respect the decision of some to find strength from other sources.

Since Roman Catholicism is at the heart of The DaVinci Code, I will pick on it. And, I've had some experience with it as well. Although I grew up as a member of an Anglican Church, I went to a Roman Catholic School for my Grade 8 year. Why? Well, that is a story for another day. I was an outcast ... not by the kids, but by the Church. I was not allowed to participate in the religious service or rituals because I had not been confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church. There were three or four of us who were excused from Communion and confession. The other kids thought we were lucky, but it made me curious. What happened in that little room, between my friends and "God," who was actually Father Somebody. I would ask them and their responses were all the same.

"We confess our sins," each of the girls would tell me.

"What kind of sins?" I would press them, eager for more information.

"Like, if I was angry with my Mom. Or I yelled at my sister. Or, I wished I had a new pair of shoes like Mary Lou," they would explain.

You mean, you had to be sorry for acting like an adolescent? I kept my thoughts to myself and as time went by, I began to see myself as the lucky one, too. Because I did not have to participate in this act every month. But it did make me feel different from them. It was as though I was not good enough to participate in their rituals. But I thought the Church welcomed everyone? I guess, maybe they meant that they would welcome anyone who would officially join up by promising a weekly tithe. Do not forget that the Church is a business and they need money to survive. And survive they do. According to the Economic Report for the Holy See 2000 the Church closed with a net gain of more than $8.5 (US) billion for that year, as it had for the past eight years running. In fact, my resident business expert, Matt Jonesy, told me that The Roman Catholic Church is considered one of the most successful businesses. Ever.

Brown skillfully intertwines fact and fiction. Pieces of information are expressed through the voice of a character, especially Leigh Teabing and sometimes it is difficult to decipher what is actual fact and what is interpretation. On the first page of the book, Brown assures us that the artwork, architecture, documents, and the secret rituals in the novel are accurate. However, there is a fine line because Teabing and Langdon often began an explanation by referencing a book or a document; but it becomes a little unclear where the factual information ends and where opinion/speculation of the character begins. I can understand why this story caused such a stir in the media when it was released.

The bottom line is that the very basis of the Church and its teachings are questioned. The role of women in the Church is challenged. The Opus Dei and its practices are brought into awareness and are not portrayed in a flattering light. This book does not make one want to run out and become a member of the Roman Catholic Church. It makes you question things.

I wonder if Dan Brown realized the can of worms he was opening when he handed in this manuscript. There is a scene in The DaVinci Code where Langdon remembers a discussion with his editor, Jonas Faukman, over his most recent manuscript. Faukman is extremely skeptical that Langdon can substantiate his claims and fears the backlash once the book hits the stands. I suspect that conversation is based on his editor's reaction to this book.

I am convinced Dan Brown says it best. He was interviewed last year on The Today Show and he says, "I do something very intentional and specific in these books. And that is to blend fact and fiction in a very modern and efficient style, to tell a story. There are some people who understand what I do, and they sort of get on the train and go for a ride and have a great time, and there are other people who should probably just read somebody else." I, for one, enjoyed the train ride.

As so, I return to the question of what I believe. As my three little miracles skipped ahead of me, giggling and catching snowflakes, I realized that I have faith in them. If I have to believe in something blindly, I choose them. As a matter of fact, I have faith in myself, too. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  
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The DaVinci Code - Part I
Author: jill
•11:11 AM
Somebody forgot to tell me that while I read, I have to continue my mothering ways. Apparently, the laundry will continue to build a pile and people around here still want interesting meals placed in front of them ... but there are pages to read and blog entries to compose. Now, I ask you ... which would you rather do?

The DaVinci Code took a little longer than expected. I mean, it is already January 11th and I have only read two books! Maybe I should take a different approach ... hey, did I mention it is only January 11th, and I have already read two books!?! And, I've started a third. 

DaVinci was a great read ... I don't think I have heard anyone say they did not enjoy it. Well, anyone I know that is ... because there are many critics out there. And I think you know which organization they belong to ... You have to remember that this is a work of fiction, not of fact. But I wish it was a biographical account - 'cause that would be fun. What if it really did happen, and Dan Brown just wrote it as a novel ... to maintain the secret.

Do you ever wish you could go on an action-packed adventure? I must want to, because I often have dreams like that ... on the run, time-oriented, looking for something or someone. Plus, I would get out of having to wash clothes and ceramic tile floors for a couple of days. I wanted to go on The Amazing Race so bad ... but I'll have to talk about that another time.

As a person who has recently found writing as an outlet, I cannot even fathom the amount of time and research that Dan Brown put into this book. I bet he doesn't have a three-year-old who wants snacks all the time. The references to religion, symbology, and real works of art are without end. I read the illustrated edition and found it helpful to see what Brown was describing; although, I am a very visual person and often seek out images to aid in my learning.

And, how on earth did he come up with the idea for the story in the first place? There has been a murder, but finding the murderer is not the primary goal. The main characters are on a different quest. The pace is unforgiving, moving from one tantalizing piece of information to the next. Since I love to figure stuff out, I was even trying to guess at the answers sometimes. Which, really, is just ridiculous since I have no knowledge (outside this book) of cryptology or codes or art history. But it was fun to try and I think that is one of the reasons it has gained such popularity ... the reader is along for the ride. 

According to Wikipedia, The DaVinci Code is one of the most popular books of all time and has sold more than 81 million copies worldwide. So, I'll assume you've read it. This was actually my second time reading it and I cannot believe how much I had forgotten. I must have been reading it (the first time) in a hormonal haze mixed with a little lack of sleep. The one thing that I do recall is that after reading it the first time, I really began to question religion. I think that I had already started down that road, and this book just fuelled my curiosity. But, more on that another time.

Obviously, a very enjoyable book. So many things to discuss, though. I think I will begin in an area of comfort ... because some topics are not so comfortable for me. Let's look at the some of the characters.

I think I feel most drawn to Silas. Surprised? I'm a helper ... my heart breaks for him and I just want to make it all better, even though he has done terrible things. Maybe my momoholism reaches out beyond my own children. His childhood is unthinkable - witnessing the murder of his mother, feeling responsible for it, taking his father's life and then living on his own on the streets from the age of seven. Honestly, that would be the end of most of us. To expect that a person is going to walk away from a situation like that and become a productive member of society is not reasonable. It ties back into the ideas I expressed in an earlier post, about the effects of losing a parent at a young age. But feeling responsible for the death of a cherished parent and then taking the life of the other -- forget about it. Incarceration for violent crimes seems like a very realistic outcome for a young man like Silas. He gets a second chance when he is found by Manuel Aringarosa, who treats him kindly and gives him renewed purpose. Silas is reborn as a good person, named after the Biblical figure whose life mirrored his own, but one who is used by his maker, to preserve his own agenda. For Silas, when he accidentally shoots Aringarosa, all was lost in that one moment- his purpose, his Father, his mentor, his life. As he stumbled around with Aringarosa in his arms, delivering him to those who could help, he must have felt so alone, and for that reason my heart goes out to Silas. He died alone in a garden.

My heart also goes out to Mary Magdalene - "the outcast one," as Brown refers to her. Have you ever felt like an outcast? Wanting to fit in, but you can't; being judged by those who have no right to judge. In the Bible, Mary Magdalene is portrayed as a sinner and as someone who is unworthy of even touching Jesus Christ; and now, today, everyone wants to be near her, the Holy Grail. Ever been mistaken about someone? I know I have; it is almost always regrettable to jump to conclusions about someone based on little information. I find it to be a common problem amongst teenage girls! After reading The DaVinci Code, I imagine Mary Magdalene not as an unwanted and shunned sinner, but as an intelligent, fightened woman, pregnant with the child conceived with the man she loves most, sneaking away and living in secrecy. Hiding her daughter, after watching her husband tortured. Two thousand years later, I just want to give her a hug and reassure her that everything will be okay. But that is just me, 'cause I am a helper.

Sir Leigh Teabing is, by far, the most entertaining personality in the book. Even Langdon describes Teabing as "a character." Sir Leigh provides the reader with an abundance of information, while remaining kinda funny and most certainly, full of surprises. Teabing and I would enjoy a fun banter should we have ever met. Of course, I would have had to kick his ass once I found out the truth about him. And I picture him to look like one of the Penn and Teller guys - the one who can talk; which is much different than the casting in the movie.

Robert Langdon himself is described as scholarly, a Harvard professor. In fact, I think it is commom knowledge that Brown modelled the character after himself. If I had been the casting director for the film, I would have chosen Harrison Ford. In the words of Elle Woods, he's "not totally unfortunately looking," and Harrison would look pedantic in a cardigan sweater or a tweed jacket. Plus, Forest Gump as a world-renowned authority on Religious Iconology and Symbology - please. Between you and me, I think Langdon sounds a little boring. Maybe too scholarly. I mean, could he carry on an interesting conversation outside symbology or art or history. Don't get me wrong - the things he knows are fascinating. But could you talk about them all the time? Eventually, he would impart all his knowledge upon you, and then what? Could he have fun at a hockey game? Would he have a Facebook page? Would he read this blog? I just don't think so...

Sofie Neveu will live the rest of her life with regret. She is a strong-willed woman who is not afraid to voice her opinion. She, too, is smart and educated and successful in her chosen field. I liked her, and I bet she has lots of friends. Although her tendancy to be stubborn and bull-headed cost her the relationship with her grandfather. I do not think I could have shunned my grandfather the way she did. Don't get me wrong, I can hold a grudge but he was her only family and she turned her back on him. And for that reason, I imagine she will live the rest of her life with regret. Actually, she is not unlike Mary Magdalene - both smart, strong women harbouring a secret that would change religion forever ... the same secret.

I just need to mention Captain Bezu Fache quickly. He is known by his colleagues as The Bull. His name (fache) translated into English means angry. Enough said. I picture him to be a short stocky guy, strongly opinionated, determined to get the bad guy; and he's not learned in the same scholarly way that Langdon is, but he is smart and very successful in his career. He reminds of a guy I know.
  
This is taking much longer than I imagined. This discussion, that is. It will continue ... on to more uncomfortable topics ...after the laundry is folded and the next load(s) are pushed through. Is it possible to fold, read and type at the same time? I'll get back to you ...

To read the second installment of my thoughts on The DaVinci Code, just click here.
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