Author: jill
•7:26 AM
She had been there hundreds of times before, maybe even thousands. But this time was different. At the age of forty-one, she had come to this store in search of back-to-school supplies ... for herself. Although she was very excited, she also felt a little silly, which is the reason she brought her daughter. Perhaps passers-by would just assume the supplies were for the little girl.

"Oh, Mommy," said Martie, holding up a package, "look at these pretty markers."

"Those are highliters," the woman explained. "They are used to mark the important things that you read ... so you won't forget them." Hopefully she wouldn't forget them.

"Can we get the pink ones?" Martie asks.

"Sure."

The woman and her daughter wandered around the store until they had found all the necessities.

"These are the cutest notebooks," said the cashier. "I think I am going to pick some up for myself."

"Do you attend the University?" the woman asked.

"Yeah," the young girl answered, with a little sparkle in her eye.

"Does anyone use actual notebooks to write notes in class?" the woman asked. She was truly interested in the answer, and waited while the cashier thought for a minute.

"Nope. Pretty sure most people use their laptop for notes in class," the cashier reports. There is a small (okay, it's very large) pit in the woman's stomach. "But sometimes I use a notebook. But not very often ..."

The woman laughed. What else could she do, really? When she last attended an institute of higher learning she felt fortunate because she had inherited her Grampa's electric typewriter after he retired. Honestly. The forty-one-year-old woman could hardly imagine unpacking a laptop to take notes in class ... wasn't that a lot of work just to jot down some notes?

"You know ... I am taking some classes at the University this Fall. And, I am going to use notebooks ... and pencils. I don't care what everyone else is doing ..." she told the cashier, with a little sparkle in her eye, trying to be very self-confident and defiant.

"Well," she said, handing the woman her bag full of back-to-school supplies, "there is nothing wrong with old school."

Wait ... she wasn't totally old school. She has an iPod and a cellphone like everyone else in the free world. She knows about Twitter. It wasn't as though she wasn't current and hip and trendy. Okay ... maybe not totally hip and trendy. But still cool, right?

But she wasn't nineteen years old anymore either. The woman brought perspective and maturity to the university campus this time around. She brings experience. And, she also brings a different level of commitment and an interest that she did not have twenty years ago. This time, she would learn things with a deeper understanding. That is not to say that she did not learn things before. Because staying out with friends until dawn and then doing the same thing the next night was a skill that came in handy for dealing with newborn babies and sick children.

There is nothing wrong with writing notes ... the woman wanted to be a writer afterall. And writers write. Some authors still write their novels long hand ... not very many, but there are some who still do.

Yep, the woman thought, there is nothing wrong with old school.

But she was in the spirit of learning. A laptop on campus could come in handy ... she did have a blog to maintain and she can't study the entire day. She turned to her daughter and said, "Come on, Martie. Let's go check those cute laptop bags I've seen in all the magazines." 

Disclaimer: Although this is a fictionalized account, the facts are true - school supplies were purchased and the cashier did tell the woman she was "old school." Real names have changed to protect the innocent.
Author: jill
•8:23 AM
I found a black mole on my back. It is small, but I couldn't pretend that it was not there. It is in the centre of my upper back, about an inch above my bra strap.

So, of course, I googled it.

Apparently, black moles are a very deadly form of melanoma. They grow inward, toward your organs, and quickly metasticize. So early diagnosis is critical. This is not what I was hoping for.

"Jonesy, can you look at this mole on my back?" I asked, pulling at my t-shirt. "Get that look out of your eyes, this is serious. Tell me what shape it is."

"It's a perfect circle."

"What about the outside edge ... is it defined or kind of jagged-y?"

"I would say it is clearly defined," he reported. Okay, this is all good news.

"Is it all the same colour?"

"Yeah, in fact it looks like a blood blister to me," Jonesy said. A blood blister? Why would I develop that? Old people get those. Plus, Jonesy is not a doctor. I just ignored this as a possibility and moved on to the next question ...

"Is it raised or flat?" I asked.

"Maybe, a little raised."

"Hmmm..." I muttered, walking back to my laptop.

"What are you thinking?" Jonesy asked. I knew he wanted to know if he gave me the answers I was looking for.

"I don't know..." I answered.

So, I did what any sane person would do and headed for the bathroom. I sat up on the bathroom counter as close to the mirror as I could get and used a hand-held mirror to look at the black mole of death for myself.

And then I made a doctor's appointment.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and that evening pretending that it did not bother me. But what if it was something that I should be bothered about? What if it was something serious?

The Internet told me that the typical person inflicted with the black mole of death was often in the prime of their lives. They are not sun worshippers nor were they outdoor labourers who are exposed to the sun all day long. They are office workers who get large doses of sun exposure on the weekends.

Great ... now I am a weekend binge drinker, binge sugar addict and binge sun tanner.

The next morning I was still pretending that I was not worried about it. It's just a little mole ... he'll probably burn in it off right in his office. No big deal. Stop thinking about it. Seriously, stop thinking about the black mole of death that seems to be growing a little bigger with each minute that passes.

This is one of those times that it is great to have an entrepreneur for a husband ... because he could look after the crazy four-year-old while I went off to face my doom all alone.

"Hey, Jill," the Doctor said. "Good to see you. What brings you in today?"

"I have a black mole on my back," I said. "And, I need you to look at it."

He grabs his fancy Doctor's flashlight, and looks at it for approximately ten seconds.

"That's nothing. Don't worry about it," he reports.

"What? That is the black mole of death," I said, rather emphatically. Sometimes I can be a know-it-all, even when I am not.

"Really, you don't need to worry about it," he says, smirking. "It's just a subaceous cyst." That sounded about as alarming as a blood blister ... ugh. Maybe Jonesy is a doctor afterall. Do I have to tell him that he was right?

He explained that a subaceous cyst is a small sac (associated with a hair follicle, I think) that fills with sebum and causes a cyst. Sebum is a fancy Doctor word for fat or oil. So basically, I had some hair follicle that filled with fatty oil and created a very small cyst. Gross. Now, I'm just embarrassed to be here with my disgusting sac o' fat.

"Are you sure that is what it is?" I asked.

"Trust me, that is all it is," he replied, again with the smirk.

"I don't think I like this whole getting older thing," I told him. "I mean, there was a time when I had lovely skin that did not get sacs of fat lodged in it."

My Doctor laughed - right at me. "Well, think of it as a trade for wisdom and being distinguished."

Distinguished? Ugh. I don't want to be "distinguished." Old people are wise and distinguished.

All kidding aside, my Doctor's appointment could have turned out much differently today. It could have been something serious. My post today could have had much different tone.

Go ... buy yourself and your kids some sunscreen. Avoid the black mole of death. 
Author: jill
•12:34 PM
You know you're old when ... It's the beginning of many jokes, but this is for real. I had an eyelash in my eye, but I couldn't see it - to remove it - because my glasses were getting in the way. So I had to take them off. Then I just couldn't see. This is how my day started. From there my morning just continued on in the same manner it began.

"Stop goofin' around. We should have been in the car eleven minutes ago."

As a parent, can't you hear yourself saying the same thing over and over again? Don't answer that, it was rhetorical.  But, it wasn't me who said these words, it was my (almost) eight-year-old son. This is the same little boy, who last year at this time, would have been having a full-out panic attack because he had to spend the next six hours with "that woman." Now this little boy is anxious to get there and impatient with his mother's goofiness. Warms my heart, and I know he was actually enjoying my early morning singing and dancing because he spit the words out with the faintest little smirk across his lips.

On a completely different note, I found the best picture to illustrate what I was writing about the other day. I wrote about the power of the media to decide. To decide what they investigate, what to make interesting, what details to reveal. (Click on the image to see it in its entirety)



I don't think I need to say any more. I hope it makes you think and question everything you see, understanding their power.


On a much lighter note my morning did improve because after I dropped my kiddies off at school, I made my way over to Chapters. I picked up a couple of things from my list. I am a girl who needs immediate gratification. Get your mind out of the gutter ... I mean, I cannot wait for books to arrive in the mailbox. I have done it, and it is a great day when you pop over to pick up the bills mail, and they are there waiting. Instantly turns the day around for me. But I enjoy looking around and touching the books and being drawn in by the marketing. For instance, I picked up the cutest little notepads made by a company called, ecojot. I just love the designs and would like to have one of everything!! They are a company based out of Scarborough ... gotta love supporting a Canadian-based eco-friendly company! I love little notepads and journals and agendas ... oh my!!

I bought And the Band Played On (#86 on The List) today ... it is ... intimidating is the only word I can come up. It is 605 pages long, it has an index at the back and a dermatis personae (whatever that is) at the beginning. I saw the movie a few years ago, so I am familiar with the story. And the one other little problem is that it is printed in very small type ... which brings me back to my problem of being old ... or feeling old. You know you are old when ... you keep talking about all the things that are deteriorating on your body. Promise - no more on that subject!

Meanwhile, still working on The DaVinci Code ... so love this book. Trying not to get caught up in the details. Discussion coming soon....