Sometimes, friends have suggested a book, and other times I stumble across them on my own. At Christmas time, a couple of years ago, I picked up a book for Caiden from the "Bargain Book Bin." If memory serves me, I needed one more thing for his Christmas stocking, and without putting too much thought into it, I grabbed this book: The Rover Adventures by Roddy Doyle (2008). It had three stories in one book - "The Giggler Treatment," "Rover Saves Christmas," and "The Meanwhile Adventures" - and looked like something a little boy would find amusing; the stories centre around a talking dog, afterall. Back then, Caiden still liked it when I read to him, and the two of us laughed until we cried when we read these stories. Well, I mostly laughed because I so enjoyed his laughing, but for whatever reasons, we  both really enjoyed these stories. And recently, Caiden told me that Roddy Doyle is his favourite author.
     Who is Roddy Doyle anyway? Have you heard of him?  Because he's not from around here. Sometimes it is easy to caught up in North American writers - there are so many great story-tellers here, but also because we can be narrow-minded, too. There is more to British writing than the greats that we study in school - Milton, Spenser, Chaucer (my favourite) and Shakespeare. Oh, and don't forget that lady ... JK Rowling, I think is her name. Roddy Doyle is an Irish writer, living and working from Dublin. He worked for several years as a teacher (of English and Geography), but began writing full time in 1993. Doyle has written nine novels, a non-fiction book about his parents, several short stories, and of course, he has written children's books as well. Six of them to be exact.
     One day, while studying at the (quiet) library on campus, I took note of the books on the shelf nearest me. Roddy Doyle was there. At that time, I did not realize that Doyle wrote adult fiction, as well and I could not wait to get home to tell Caiden.
     I didn't have time to read Doyle's fiction then, but I do now. I just read The Woman Who Walked Into Doors (1996).
     I'll be honest: there were times that I was so emotionally involved with Paula Spencer, the protagonist of the story, that I wondered why I was putting myself through her agony. It is a sad story; one of poverty, alcoholism, spousal abuse, murder, guilt, and trying to find a way to cope with life. It is also a story of love, because Paula Spencer loves her husband, Charlo; and she gives us (the reader) a glimpse into the psychology of a battered wife. I have studied about and worked with battered women ... their situations are cluttered with psychology and hopelessness and tragedy. Statistics Canada reports that almost 62000 women enter women's shelters for refuge from a violent partner every year; only one in four of them will report the assault to the police. On average, every six days a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.
     What? In Canada? I know, it's shocking isn't it?
     The Woman Who Walked Into Doors gave me something new to think about. By that I mean, it better helped me understand the battered woman's reasoning (to stay) and her coping mechanisms, which are not always healthy, by the way. It is not always about money - Paula Spencer really truly loved her husband and she really thought that she deserved to be beated into unconsciousness. (Ladies, please know that you never deserve to beaten. EVER. Even if you are sassy, or refuse to make your husband's tea, or you don't have supper ready when he gets home from work. Not ever.)
     The weird thing is that this story was written by a man; and the weirder thing is that you would never know.
     This past year, I studied composition ... and it is where my heart lies. By considering composition, it gives new meaning to the story, it allows you to understand it in a more meaningful way. Doyle has constructed this story brilliantly. The story is not told chronologically, but anachronically. Interestingly, if you consider the chapter at the centre of the book, it reveals what is central to the story. It tells where Paula Spencer is now, where she is at in her life, where her children are, how she is coping. It talks about today. The end of the book details what happened to effect the changes that were necessary for survival. But the thing is, neither the chapter at the centre of the book, nor the final chapter give the reader that happy ending we all crave. Maybe that's because it is difficult for a battered woman to find the happy ending that she wants, too: if she stays, it means being beaten into unconsciousness; if she leaves, it means feeling lonely and pining for the man she fell in love with. 
     I have discovered that there is a second book about Paula, entitled Paula Spencer (2007). It apparently takes place ten years after the end of the first book. I'm still recuperating from this emotional upheaval ... maybe I'll read the end to Paula's tale when I'm on Christmas break.
If you want to read more about Violence Against Women in Canada, start here.

My parents worked extremely hard to create the bubble in which I exist. Some parents try to expose their children to all kinds of different things, to help them grow as a person. My parents did too ... but only the nice things. I went to Disney World, family picnics at the beach, camping at National Campgrounds, out for dinner at the local Chinese food restaurants. One year, my Mom even planted a vegetable garden. But I was protected from anything unpleasant, anything that might upset me. Like when my cat died ... they buried it in our backyard and told me that she ran away. I never saw my parents argue - not once.

The children in Adrian LeBlanc's Random Family probably saw and experienced more terrible things before they were five years old, than I will in my whole lifetime. Sixteen-year-old Jessica is surrounded by drugs and drug dealers; she is beaten by her mother; when men ten years her senior ask her out, she sets them up with her mother instead; she regularly skips school and hangs out at the Hooky House; she watches her mother get high; before she is eighteen years old, she will have three children - first Serena will arrive, then twin girls about one year later. The little girls have different Daddies; in actuality, their paternity is uncertain. All of these things happened in the first fifteen pages of this lengthy four hundred page true story.

By the way, don't you just love the term, "Hooky House?" I absolutely love terms like that. In fact, I would probably go to the the Hooky House just so I could say it. All teenagers come up with nicknames, and their own slang ... it is what defines them as teenagers. When I was a teenager, everyone "hurt" and everything was "ignorant." For example, "My math teacher hurts ... that homework he assigned was ignorant." Ahhhhh ... those were the days ... but I digress, again. 

Adrian Nicole LeBlanc spent more than ten years of her life with the people in her story. She details their lives ... the crisis, the poverty, the chaos, the joys, the crime, the punishment, the reality. I recently listened to an interview she gave in 2003, when the book was first released. LeBlanc said that she would spend four or five days at a time in the Bronx, with her "friends," living their lives with them. She would sleep atop a mattress on the floor, someone else's baby snuggled up next to her, cockroaches scurrying across the floor. She attended court trials. She made visits to the prisons. She hung out on the streets. Some would call her home at 3am in a panic. It is a remarkable read, but I found it emotionally draining and I was exhausted when I finished this book. This is real; real people and their real lives.

The book revolves around three central players, and the people that come and go in their lives. Jessica, as I detailed earlier, started motherhood early in life. But so do most of the girls in the Bronx; many are mothers before they are sixteen years old. Cesar is Jessica's younger brother, sharing only their mother; and Coco is one of the girls Cesar loves.

It is just a fact that most young girls (in the Bronx) are sexually assaulted and Jessica is no different. Neither is her two-year-old daughter, Serena. Jessica was known to cause a stir when she walked around with her friends, and she had no trouble attacting boys. But for her, sex equals love; and she really just wants someone to love her ... for real. Jessica's story becomes really interesting when she gets involved with one of the most notorious drug dealers in the history of New York, Boy George Rivera. Boy George was a multi-millionaire by the age of twenty-one; it is thought that one of his hot spots for selling heroin was making $60 000 per day. It was also alleged that he earned more than $15 million in just over two years. And he lived the high life ... five cars (one specially outfitted like a James Bond car with crazy gadgets) - all paid for with cash; he travelled; he took Jessica to fancy restaurants and hotels and bought food for her family; parties on yachts, jewels, the Manhatten apartment he rented for the sole purpose of stashing his piles of cash. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world when she hooked up with Boy George because he was respected, he acted like a gentleman and he was wealthy. But eventually she paid the price, as did he.

But her story does not end with incarceration; she tries to find herself while she is in jail. She wants to do the right thing ... they all do. But sometimes, they just don't know how. She has an affair with a prison guard, and gives birth to his twin baby boys while she is on the inside. Desperate for true love she convinces herself that he is "the one." Of course he is not; and she will never develop any real bond with those baby boys because they are placed with the foster parent who has her three girls. It will be years before she sees them again. When she is finally released, after a seven or eight year stint, she goes right back to her old neighbourhood. Not necessarily her old ways, but she immerses herself back in the same culture. It's all she knows.

Cesar is a badass, but I love him. Of all the characters, I love Cesar most. He is the one I could have saved if I were there ... in the Bronx. He feels the pressure to protect and provide for his family ... any way he can. People chastise those who sell drugs, and in NO WAY do I support the activity. But take a look at it from a different perspective. The guys on the street are looking to support their families. They are looking for a way to put food on the table for their babies and pay their rent. The "bosses" are a completely different story - they are looking for a way to get rich. But the guys on the street are not unlike you and me, just looking for a way to make ends meet. And, in their neighbourhood, dope dealer is considered a viable career option. Again, I am not condoning their behaviour and if they come near any one of my children, I will not be held responsible for my actions; but it is understandable in their circumstances. Cesar says, "You get praise for doing wrong. I did not see it as doing wrong, because helping my family is right. How I tended to my family was different. Why is because we didn't have. The sequence led to the boy that created me."

Cesar is, what main-stream society would call, a troubled youth. He is on the streets, missing school, stealing, fighting, in shootouts. And, the majority of his adult life has been behind bars. In an ironic twist of fate, he is incarcerated for an accidental shooting ... the shooting and subsequent death of his best friend, Mighty. In the long run, Cesar seems to benefit from his time in jail because he educates himself and actually gains an understanding of the culture in which he grew up. He uses what he learns when dealing with his daughter, Mercedes; he sees himself in her. Cesar tries to encourage Mercedes  and strokes her positive attributes, instead of just addressing the negative behaviour. He notes that nobody ever did this for him. Although he often feels frustrated and helpless with repect to his family and children, Cesar does acknowledge the idea that he may have had it easier than some of his friends from the neighbourhood, because he only has to worry about himself while he is in jail. There are no hungry mouths to feed; there is no rent to pay; the streets are not calling for him.

The street is like a "thing;" almost tangible. It draws kids in, and keeps them there. In a moment of astute awareness, Cesar refers to it a scapegoat because it is where the kids go when they do not want to be at home. If they argue with their Mom, they take to the street to escape. And although most are surrounded by "family," they still feel alone and/or betrayed. Girls carry deep-seeded anger toward their mothers because they fail to protect them - young girls are often sexually assaulted by their mother's boyfriends. Boy are resentful that they become the man of the family too soon. Siblings are jealous of each other. The street provides refuge from all that. The street provides a gathering place for like-minded kids.

The manner in which women are treated is appalling. They are used, beaten, raped, cheated on, intimidated, stolen from, manipulated and then beaten again. However, it is not just men beating women; women hit each other in fights and women beat their children severely - little girls and boys. The beatings that occur as part of an intimate relationship invoke an interesting dynamic. I have studied at length about abused women, and the Battered Women's Syndrome. Women are usually shocked the first time they are hit by their partner, and look for excuses - he had too much to drink, he was stressed out, he just lost his job, etc. But this seems different - the women in this story just expect to be beaten; they do not like it, but they expect it. For them, it is part of having a boyfriend. Men beat their wives/girlfriends to the point of almost death, and sometimes push their children around as well. In the case of Battered Women Syndrome, when her man turns his fury on their children, she will finally leave; it is not to save herself, but to protect her children. The women in the Bronx do not take such action. This is not a blanket statement about all the women in that live the Bronx, but a general impression taken from the book.

Coco loves Cesar; she loves him almost from the minute she spots him from a third-floor bedroom window. Coco and Cesar have two children together and an on-again-off-again relationship; of course, Coco has a total of five children fathered by four different men (I believe) which is part of the reason their relationship is on-again-off-again. Coco's mother, Foxy, uses drugs and lives with several different men throughout the story. She is of little support or guidance for Coco. Coco lives a life of chaos and disorganization and extreme poverty. The end of the book chronicles Coco's latest crisis ... oldest daughter in trouble at school, kitchen ceiling caving in and her apartment being infested with cockroaches - "wave upon wave of cockroaches made use of the sudden hole," she lost her job, she lost the disability benefits for her premature baby, the cable was cut off, her rented furniture was repossessed, she split up with her most recent love and her phone was disconnected. This is typical chaos in Coco's life. She is overwhelmed and cannot effectively deal with her own life; so, she often relies on her eldest daughter, Mercedes, to act as a parent to her younger siblings. Not because Coco doesn't want to do anything for her children, but because she cannot do it all by herself. There are too many children to care for, and too many problems to worry about. I think that is why Coco continues to get involved with different men ... she wants someone to help her. Help her financially or help her with the day-to-day care of the children. Because if she could get some relief in one area, the other would be easier to deal with. But ultimately, she seems to end up alone, coping the best she can.

I'll be honest - most of the time, as I read, I had a pit in my tummy. This is a harsh look at the realities faced by the poverty stricken in the United States. I wish I could say that I thought this was not a problem in Canada; I think it is. In fact, I worked in the midst of the poverty; and I have had women call me at the end of the month, begging me for more money or a food voucher to feed their children. It is heartbreaking. So, the bubble that my parents worked so hard to create had actually been burst some ago.

I began working for the Social Services Office when I was twenty-four years old and I had never personally experienced any kind of poverty. I mean, hardship for me was having to buy the generic brand instead of my favourite. But the first Christmas I working as a Caseworker opened my eyes to a different way of life. Conducting visits to peoples' homes forced me to confront "Charlie Brown" Christmas trees with one small box wrapped and carefully placed underneath for each child in the house. If they missed out on the Goodwill Food Hamper, one woman told me, they would splurge for a can of Spam, and bake it for their Christmas dinner. I had never been faced with such poverty until then. And now, although I have been out of the Social Service industry for almost ten years, I still think about some of the people I met and the struggles they endured ... abuse, loss, illness, poverty, lack of education.

I feel like this post is unorganized and just a bunch of thoughts thrown together ... sorry for that. But this book leaves your head spinning - in a good way, I think. Random thoughts about Random Family. We should know about the struggles of those who have been born into life of poverty and drugs. This book should be mandatory reading for teenagers. It is shocking and there are no secrets. But, maybe it is okay for teenage girls to read first hand the consequences of becoming a teenage mother; losing the opportunity to get an education without having the responsibility of a child; the dangers of drug use; the effect of poverty and the cycle it begins; the effects of incarceration, not only on the person on the inside, but by the family/children s/he leaves behind.

Because not everyone grows up as lucky as you and me, and maybe it is time our children realise it.

Have you ever slowed your reading pace as you came to the end of a book? Because you didn't want it to end? It happened the other night; as I read, I realized there were not enough pages left for there to be the happy ending that I crave, and so I slowed my reading pace. I was not ready to say goodbye to my friend in A Thousand Acres, by Jane Smiley. I wanted to make sure she would all be all right, but I'm not so sure she is. I actually fought back tears, feeling Ginny's loss. Her many losses. Okay, I didn't have a break down like when I read Marley and Me, or My Sister's Keeper; when tears streamed down my face, dripping onto the pages as I read; and I couldn't talk because of the golf-ball sized lump in my throat. Caiden had a small panic attack because he thought something was wrong with me. It wasn't that bad. But I was overwhelmed with emotion, feeling remorseful and heavy-hearted.

If you have not read this book, and you plan to, please stop reading now and come back to this post when you are finished. Please. I do not want to ruin the story for anyone, but there are things to discuss. So, you've been warned ... proceed with caution. I thought this was a story about taking over a farm, and the funny mishaps that the kids encounter along the way to mastering the farm life. That is NOT what this novel is about. At all.

A Thousand Acres is the story of one farming family in Iowa. And, from the outside, Larry Cook's family appeared to be like any other farming family. In fact, they may be considered luckier than some because they have one of the largest farms in the county and it's mortgage-free. Apparently, in the farming community (in the 1970s, anyway) a man's worth was determined by the number of acres he farmed minus the amount of the mortgage he owed. And, everyone knew what everyone else owed to the bank. There are no secrets in the farming community. Well, maybe a few, but we'll talk more about that later.

These men live and breathe farming. Smiley refers to "the farmer's catechism" ...

"What is a farmer?
A farmer is a man who feeds the world.
What is a farmer's first duty?
To grow more food.
What is a farmer's second duty?
To buy more land.
What are the signs of a good farm?
Clean fields, neatly painted barns, breakfast at six, no debts, no standing water.
How will you know a good farmer when you meet him?
He will not ask you for any favours."

And so there it is ... the rules to follow if you want to be a good farmer. The only thing not listed is that it is very important that all your neighbours know that you are a good farmer. Otherwise, it's all for nothing.

The story begins with a community gathering to welcome home Jess Clark, after a thirteen year absence. He had been drafted in the 1960s, but instead fled to Canada because he did not believe in the Vietnam War. No one, including his parents, had heard from him until a few days before his return. Jess' return is not the only surprise that night because Larry Clark announces (to his family) that he is going to transfer ownership of his one thousand acres to this three daughters - Ginny, Rose and Caroline.

The motivation for Larry's actions is never clear. He is an unhappy man, unsociable to the point of almost being reclusive, and the only thing that brought him any joy was his farm. And yet, seemingly out of the blue, he signs over his life's pride to his daughters. When Caroline questions his actions, Larry denies her and divides the land between Ginny and Rose. There could be many reasons for the transfer ... perhaps he really thought he wanted to retire ... perhaps it was a financial move to avoid inheritance taxes, as he explained ... perhaps he knew he was in failing health ... perhaps he was looking for repentance. We'll never know the reason for the initiation of the transfer, but once it is done, no one's life is the same.

Larry finds himself without purpose any longer and feels removed from the daily operations of the farm by the girls and their husbands, Ty and Pete. The boys have lots of ideas to expand the farm and update some of their equipment; unfortunately, because they don't need his approval any longer, Larry feels excluded. Ty, born of a different generation, was not frightened at the prospect of taking on some debt in order to further the (farm) business. He was certain that once Larry saw the new buildings in place and the expanded livestock filling the property with life and movement, he would feel content with the knowledge that his farm would flourish long beyond his years. But instead of engaging him, the new plans to expand the operation had the opposite effect and Larry spiralled out of control.

The role of women is an interesting one in A Thousand Acres. Ginny is the narrator and she evolves right before our very eyes. Women on a farm cater to the men on the farm. It's just a fact. They cook for them, and keep a clean house. That is their job. That's it. In some respects, as a group, the women on the farm remind of the Kirshner women in Kaaterskill Falls - all the same (from outside appearances) but quietly individual.

Ginny's mother died when she was fourteen years old, and Ginny took on the role of parent to the two younger girls, especially Caroline who was only six years old. Ginny has always been timid and reserved, keeping her opinions to herself. Obedient, I think would be the word to describe her. Before Jess Clark returned, her biggest act of defiance comes when she just pretends to put in her diaphram. Jess Clark intrigues Ginny with his stories of his life in Vancouver and his modern way of approaching farming. She is drawn in by Jess and thus, he is a catalyst for the change in her.

But Ginny has a secret that even she does not know about until her sister, Rose, tells her. Larry Cook sexually abused Ginny and Rose; and while Ginny has pushed the memories away, Rose lives with it every day. She deals with the abuse by spending her entire life bitter and angry. Rose is suspicious of everyone and always takes action on the defensive. She does not enjoy anything, and she actually takes pleasure in bringing Ginny down with her. Leading her astray.

Ginny has no recollection of the abuse ... she denies it even happened when Rose confronts her with the truth because she cannot remember it. The brain is a very powerful protector. It works in many ways to shield us from traumatizing events ... like a car accident or abuse or a super hard test you had to take. I do not remember anything about my brother's funeral. I know I was there ... that's about it. Sometimes, the brain will create an alternate personality to deal with the emotions associated with sexual abuse, commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. MPD is not something one is born with, it is a defense mechanism invented by the brain; and it is not just used in cases of childhood sexual abuse, but can be used as a coping mechanism for any traumatic event. Sometimes the brain will just block it out, as in the case of Ginny; and it is not unusual for the brain to protect itself in this manner. Returning to her childhood bedroom triggers memory recall, and Ginny does come to remember the abuse. Then, it is she who is spiralling out of control. She is no longer protected, washing away adrift and in search of stability and refuge. What she does find is her voice and the way in which she protects herself is to leave the whole situation. She literally walks away. And in the end, the farm itself is alone and desolate.

In some stories, things evolve slowly; gathering momentum until a decision is made/a secret is revealled/a death/an accident/ - some sort of climax in the story. In A Thousand Acres, the main stimulus happens in the first pages (the transfer of the land), but there are several catalysts that determine the direction of the story. Dictionary.com defines a catalyst as something that causes activity between two or more persons without itself being affected. There are pivotal moments in the story that require the characters to react and their reactions determine the path the story will travel. It's like real life, where you are confronted with choices, different ways in which one could respond; and the way you respond will determine where you will be headed - the Sunday Church Potluck, in which Harold makes his condemning speech to the congregation; Ginny's adulterous affair with Jess; Rose's drunken confessions to Ginny; the return of Rose's cancer.

You know, I just wanted so much more from Ty. He and Ginny had been married for seventeen years, and at the beginning of the story she said that stilll had a smile every time she saw him. It seemed as though he really loved her, and I just wanted him to put his arm around Ginny and tell her that everything would be okay. But he doesn't. He just watches her spin, losing control. But he cannot help her. I don't think he knows how. The only thing he knows how to do is farm. And essentially, he gives up on her.

Soil is suppose to be the giver of life. Life originates beneath the soil, and then it nourishes the plants as they grow. Bringing them to maturity and sustaining them for the duration of their life. There is a subtle irony in the fact that the soil, on these farms in Iowa, was actually killing the families that depended on it. Jess Clark speculates that there are dangerous chemicals in the run-off water, which are consumed by the farmers and their families. I'm sure it accounted for Ginny's repeated miscarriages, Rose's and her mother's cancer, the illness that killed Jess' mother, Harold's strange behaviour, and Larry Cook's dementia, which I suspect was Alzheimer's Disease.

"The body repeats the landscape. They are the source of each other and create each other. We were marked by the seasonal body of earth, by the terrible migrations of people, by the swift turn of a century, verging on change never before experienced on this greening planet." -- Meridel Le Sueur ("The Ancient People and the Newly Come")

The quote above is found at the beginning of the book, and I didn't understand it when I first read it. Remember? I thought A Thousand Acres was an account of daily farm life. I understand the quote now. And it is absolutely perfect.

This is not an uplifting, feel-good story. It is a great read, if you don't need to feel good at the end of a novel. It is thought-provoking, and I couldn't put it down. Maybe because I am drawn to sad stories; I am not afraid to explore the full spectrum of human emotion. What does that say about me?

I realize now that there will be no bad books on the list I selected. Lucky me ... it will be one great read after another. The only problem is that I don't really get any time to absorb and appreciate one book before I move on to the next. I guess that will be one of the challenges of one hundred books in one year. On some occasions, I have finished one book and started the next one a couple of hours later. More on that another time, I'm sure.

For now, I'm off to the Bronx ... and gangstas!!