Author: jill
•7:46 AM
I have a friend who has been encouraging me to read something by Stephen King as part of my challenge to read one hundred books in one year. Did you know that Stephen King reads seventy to eighty books each year? Suddenly, my pitiful thirty-five books read (to date) seems even more heartbreakingly pathetic.

In August I read, On Writing - A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. I'm not sure if this counts as a Stephen King book to the general populous, but I sure did enjoy it. In fact, I loved it, however it is not for everyone.

For me, it was great to "talk" with someone who speaks my language. This is not to say that I feel like Stephen King and I are equals in the world of writers. Nothing could be further from the truth. However I completely understood everything that he wrote about with respect to the craft of writing. In fact, I learned a great deal, not the least of which is that I do have an understanding of the process. Some of the things he writes, I already do, some I understand the importance of but have not been able to achieve (because of the small people running around my house), and other things I had never thought of before, but completely appreciate. All that, just from reading this book.

His number one piece of advice to achieve great writing is to write a lot ... and to read, a lot. Well, that sounds like just about the perfect job to me. Does that mean that I can pick up a great book, hush the children (which means ignore them) and explain that Mommy is working? I'll have to try that one some time.

On Writing begins with a resume, of sorts. StephenKing remembers some of the early times in his life and some of the things that stand out from his childhood. He moves on to describe the events surrounding his first book (Carrie - 1974) being published, and he touches briefly on his alcohol and drug addiction. In fact, he admits that he has no recollection of writing Cujo (1981), which saddened him because he really loves that book and wishes he could recall the process of writing it. It is the kind of the auto-biographical writing that, when read, you want to share with someone else. So, suffice it to say, that Jonesy knows way more about StephenKing than he ever wanted to. But, having said that, I think he found the tidbits I threw out there, kind of interesting. Funny, gross, interesting ...

The other two thirds of the book are fairly specific to the craft of writing. Some is down-right instructional, other parts are teaching through example ... which I love. Sometimes he is specific - 2000 words per day- and other times he is more ambiguous, like when he says. "I'm doubtful about writing classes, but not entirely against them."

If you are a budding writer, I highly recommend picking this book up. But if you are just a fan of Stephen King and not really interested in writing as an art form, this may not be the book for you.

StephenKing - I cannot refer to him as King or Stephen, just StephenKing, all one word - is a really incredible person. I mean, aside from the writer; because as a writer, he is a genius and obviously, well-respected. I read lots of his stuff as a young girl ... Carrie (plus I saw the movie), Pet Semetary, Cujo are the ones that stand out. Of course, I have seen The Shining (red-rum, red-rum, red-rum) and The Green Mile which are movies based on his novels. And please, don't forget The Shawshank Redemption, based on the novella by StephenKing entitled, Rita Hayworth and the Shawhank Redemption -probably one of my favourite movies. I'll have to look for the novella.

But as a girl, my interests changed and I moved on to different writers, like Danielle Steele. Plus, at about the same time in my life, I developed a heavy social agenda, so I didn't have much time to read. Because when you are a teenaged girl, it takes approximately the same amount of time to "get ready" as it does to attend the actual event you are getting ready for.

He is a goofy looking man, whom I did not find compelling enough to really find out about the person behind the stories. For many years, I have thought of StephenKing as a grown up kid; like an adult with a boy's imagination. And, I don't think StephenKing would be offended by that statement; in fact, it would probably make him happy inside. Although he has matured, his interest still lies in the realm of science fiction. Just like it did when he was eight or nine years old and hitchhiking to movies in the nearest town. He wrote that he likes to get his character(s) into a predictament and then watch as they figure their way out of it.

Another admirable thing about StephenKing is that he has been married to the same woman for almost forty years. Which I consider a true accomplishment in the world of fame. He talks about her with respect and love and admiration. Don't you hope that your husband would describe your laugh as "adorable" or that he has a full understanding (and respect) for your lack of putting up with his bullshit - even after forty years of marriage?

Anyhow, after reading this book, I have my own piece of advice. Be patient as a writer. It is much easier to verbally tell a story than it is to write it down. Because most times, your brain moves faster than your fingers, so you have to slow down a bit and take the time to get it right. It is simple to invoke humor or expression using your face or hand-movements when telling a story. However, when writing a story you must be skilled at making your point (whether sad, or funny, or inspirational) using only words and punctuation. And you don't even get to read those words aloud to your reader ... you must hope that they can hear your voice.

Initially, I borrowed this book from the Public Library. I will be purchasing my own copy because I know I will refer back to it time and time again. That is how much I loved and appreciated this book. StephenKing is a natural teacher, and he has much to share. Do you want to learn from him?
Author: jill
•10:40 PM
The other night I awoke from a dream laughing and felt extremely happy. Like, over-the-top elated with happiness. I did not feel stress or worry or pressure to get something done. It was like I was in a bubble and couldn't hear anything from the outside world. I felt carefree and without concern for anything. It was freeing, this sense of happiness.

I haven't felt that kind of unburdened joy in quite some time.

This is not to say that I am in a deep depression and walking around in a constant state of gloominess. But I am saying that I always have something on my mind and something I need to get done ... what to make for school lunches, a book to read, a temper tantrum to resolve, a snack to prepare, an errand to run. I am saying that I am a Mom responsible for three young children. I am happy, but I am not carefree. In fact, I'm not sure that I have ever been carefree ... it's sort of how my brain operates.

Are you happy with your life? Are you doing what you want to do with it? Are you spending your time in a way that makes you feel good (inside)? Do you do things with a sense of purpose, or do you do them because you feel like you should?

Recently I read No Impact Man by Colin Beavan, and wrote about his project to live for one year without having any impact on the environment. Click here, if you want a refresher.

One of things that Beavan discovers (quite unexpectedly, I might add) while living an impact-free life are the things that really make him happy. He learns about what things he truly enjoys doing. He begins by recounting a typical day ... he rushes around in the morning to get his daughter to her babysitter; then he rushes off to work; he works through his day, often spending ten hours at his craft, and sometimes becoming impatient for the work day to end; and then he rushes to get his daughter from the babysitter; on his way home he picks up the take-out du jour for supper and then continues home to get his little princess fed, bathed and tucked in for the night. He and his wife then share a night in front of the television and their laptops simultaneously until they are finally ready to go to sleep. And then they get up the next morning to start all over again.

Sound familiar?

But while working on the No Impact Project, he took the time to consider whether he felt happy about how he was living his life. Not just with regard to the environment, but with respect to how he spent his time. Why did he work for ten hours a day, when seven or eight was enough? Why didn't he take his little girl to the park more often? He tries to answer his own questions by suggesting that people work long hours so that they can buy stuff or do stuff or pay off stuff. Because the more stuff you buy or the more fabulous (and by fabulous, I mean expensive) the vacation, the happier you feel, right?

Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as the hedonic treadmill. When you buy something, it gives you a burst of pleasure. It makes you feel good, this thing you have purchased. Likely, you are excited because it is something that interests you or will make your life easier in some way. I feel this way after buying a book ... before I am even finished reading the book I bought, the thrill wears off and I am looking for the next one.

Beavan considers (in a very clever and unassuming way) whether he is spending his free time in a way that makes him feel fulfilled. Does rushing around until you literally drop on the couch each evening make him feel fulfilled? Does it make you? Could you be happy with the things you have currently, without having to travel around town all the time, picking "stuff" up or dropping "stuff" off? Do you ever do things because you think you should, or to keep up with your neighbours or your co-workers or your friends? Do these things that you feel obligated to do make you feel happy inside? Are they necessary for existence? For instance, is it really necessary to have really super green grass? Or, the biggest television money can buy? Or, a new car every three years?

That is a lot of questions to ask yourself. And you might not like the answers, if you are honest with yourself.

For me, it is the reasoning behind the decision. If you really enjoy gardening and take pride in your yard/landscaping/garden, then ... yes, it is necessary for you to have super green grass. Because it fills you with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, and you enjoy working on it. But should you feel obligated to make your grass as green as your neighbour's? Or your Dad's? Or your friend's?

And, if you feel the need to run out and buy a pair of very expensive shoes because a colleague at work bought a pair, then I question your motives. Unless shoes are your sole reason for existing.

Beavan recalls rushing to get to the park, so his daughter could start to have fun. He was almost pushing her along the sidewalk and became frustrated when she stopped to play with a chain hanging off a fire hydrant. But it was then that he realized his daughter was already having fun.Because, sometimes, it is the walk to the park that is the fun part.

Could it be that the real excitement we all crave is in the journey along the pathway of life? Not in the destination?

Why can't we enjoy the here and now? I realize that we all have to earn a paycheque in order to survive, but we don't have to make earning money the centre of our world. We don't have to rush through life, trying to get more; instead, we could just enjoy ourselves. Why did I have to challenge myself to read one hundred books? Why couldn't I just enjoy them at whatever was a comfortable pace? I'll tell you why ... because I was looking for the burst of excitement that comes from accomplishing something other than seven loads of laundry all in one day.

The thing is ... psychologists have learned that the happiest people are those who do not live on the hedonic treadmill. They enjoy what is happening in their lives now. They do not live for tomorrow. And they do not buy things to make themselves feel good about what themselves. They do not feel obligated to do things ... they do them because they want to.

It is hard to be different from others though. I think it is a natural instinct (for most people) to want to be liked; to want to fit in with everyone else. Probably because it is easier; but also because when you buy a new patio set and your friends all tell you how much they like it, you probably mistake that for them really liking you, too. And it makes you feel good. So sometimes it is difficult to do what is right for you when it makes you stand out from everyone else. For instance, what if you didn't want to have a patio set in your backyard, like all your friends? Instead, you decided scatter lawnchairs around your yard and to refurbish an (old-fashioned) picnic table for those nights its not too hot to eat outside. Would you feel self-conscious because it is different from all your friends' backyards?

I believe that it is much easier when you do something because you strongly believe in it, rather than because you are forced to. Perhaps it makes you feel good to refurbish something, instead of buying something new because it has become important for you to re-use and re-cycle. Beavan had a self-realization every time he found a way to get what he wanted without having to buy something new ... like his refurbished bike. However, you may not have the same feeling if the reason you did not purchase the new patio set that you love so much was because you were unable to afford to.

Am I making any sense? I feel like this is a mix-up of the many thoughts spewing out of my brain.

When I was an infant, I had an infection in my shoulder. The infection caused damage to the bone and the way that it would develop. I was lucky that the infection set in my shoulder instead of my hip ... but I do not feel lucky because it makes my body different from yours. One of my arms is more than four inches shorter than the other, and the range of motion is restricted. Sometimes it is not noticeable at all; other times, I'm sure it is all people can see - depends on what I am wearing and doing. Jonesy has always said that it is part of who I am and I should embrace it but I would do anything to make it go away because it makes me different from you. Of course, it is much easier to deal with now, as an adult, but there were some very upsetting times when I was growing up. I have been forced (by Mother Nature or Fate or some other natural force) to deal with an arm that makes me different (for my whole life) ... but I don't believe in it. I don't want to do it.

However, I do strongly believe that the state of our food supply and its production is atrocious and I would talk about it until I was blue in the face if I thought I could make a difference. I don't mind telling you that I am willing to pay a little more for a food item if it is organic or local or nutritionally sound ... even if it means I buy a little less. I don't mind telling you that giving my children carbonated drinks or KoolAid is unthinkable. I look forward to picking blueberries with my kids in the summer ... because it is fun and because I gain some satisfaction in harvesting the food we are going to eat. I don't mind telling you that I make the majority of our food from scratch ... please note that I am not telling you that I always enjoy doing it, but just that I do it. And I don't mind telling you these things because I feel very strongly about them and I don't care if that makes me different from other people. It is important to me. However, I have been questioned about my strong ideas with regard to my food choices and talked about behind my back ... because I do not choose to give my children sugary drinks and prefer organic, locally grown food if I can find it. But I don't care.

As Beavan takes away all the modern conveniences and technology, he begins to realize what is important to him. For the first time in his life, he actually prepares food for their meals ... and he enjoys doing it. He learns that television is really not all that important. He learns about really doing things with his time, and the art of conversation ... with people instead of keyboard. He wrote, "Four weeks after the project began, we weren't just changing the way we lived; changing the way we lived was changing us."

So, I ask you ... are you enjoying the here and now? Are you making the most of your free time? Are you doing what is right for you, even if it makes you a little different from your friends?

It is in this spirit of relishing the journey along the pathway of life that I share some exciting news ... I am returning to University of Windsor to study Creative Writing and Literature, working toward a Masters Degree. I have found a real love for writing, and I want to learn more about it. I want to study the great writers and I want to learn more techniques. I want to broaden my knowledge and investigate whether I could actually earn some $money$ as a writer. As is usually the case with me, I feel like education is the place to start ... the publishing industry, the art of writing, the History of Language. Yes, that is the actual name of a course I will be taking. Okay, maybe I'm a little more interesting in Creative Writing I, but I will endure learning the History of Language if it will get me where I need to be. And who knows, maybe I will enjoy learning the history of language. After all, I do love words.

And so where does this new turn of events leave my challenge? Let's be honest, I was probably not going to read one hundred books in one year. However, I will continue to read over the summer, and blog as I go. But the pace is sure to slow because my kids want me to conduct a summer school of sorts ... more about that on another day.

And, I'm hoping to be able to find the time for my blog while I learn more about Creative Writing ... a professor has already warned me that two of my four courses are very "writing" heavy, but I'm sure I'll have time for a few Addie C. stories at least. After all, she starts school in September, too. And wherever Addie C. goes, a story is sure to follow.

So, don't give up on me if I have not written for a few days. I love this too much to walk away from it.
Author: jill
•5:07 PM
I wrote recently that I have a passion for words. I do love words ... but I am searching for the right one to describe how I am feeling today.

You see, the Top 10 Finalists were announced in the Mabel's Labels BlogHer '10 Contest, and I was not one of them.

Of course, I am disappointed. I wouldn't have entered if I didn't want to win ... and I didn't, so I am. Disappointed, that is. I am disappointed because I really wanted to go to BlogHer 2010, and I really wanted to go to New York City. I wanted to learn more about this industry known as blogging. And getting paid to write for Mabel would have been super fun. But I can still win the lottery, right? And then I can go to New York City any time I want to; and if that did happen - if I won the lottery - I wouldn't need to go to BlogHer 2010 because I could just hire someone else to market my blog. Then, I could just enjoy writing and someone else could worry about finding people to read it. Because that is what blogging is all about, isn't it? The writing for enjoyment? Or is it about the number of hits you get? I'm beginning to wonder ...

I guess I feel a little embarrassed that I didn't take my entry a little more seriously. I wrote my post quickly, taking a light-hearted approach. The idea came to me instantly and I thought it would be fun. This was wrong of me and I wish I would have taken some more time to think about what I wanted to say. I am passionate about words, but maybe I should have been a little more "grown-up" about the whole thing.

I feel a little discouraged. I really, really enjoy writing; I did not know that I had it in me. But I have realized that feeling forced to write is difficult for me. For instance, I wasn't going to write this post; I had planned to write about National Library Week. I researched it well - the oldest known Library, the one with the greatest number of books, etc. - and wanted to encourage everyone to check out their local Libraries because they have a lot more to offer than just books. But my heart wasn't in it. I was not inspired to write about National Library Week - at least not today. But does every writer get to write about something that inspires them every time they sit down at a keyboard? Probably not. I need to learn how to approach an uninspired task; that is, something I did not think up on my own.

I tried to take a light-hearted approach and feel like I probably came across as thoughtless and an airhead. And, I wanted to do something different. All parents are passionate about their children, right? I am a momoholic, for heaven's sake; nobody knows this more than me. So, I thought that writing about something frivolous and playful might be entertaining but perhaps, the judges were looking for something a little more substantial.

Being new to the blogging world, I have learned from this. So I am feeling enlightened. I have learned from this experience, just as you should from all new adventures.

Finally, I am feeling lucky. Because I have been introduced to some great writers and mothers, who are dealing with the same day-to-day issues that I am. Of course, only I have Addie C. Jones but all the other bloggers have families just like mine, each with their own characteristics that make them unique. And I have enjoyed getting to know all the successful ladies at Mabel's Labels ... each inspiring in their own way.

So, am I disillusioned? About writing, that is. That remains to be seen, I guess. I am just going to continue to write and enjoy myself. And if you happen to enjoy yourself too, that is great.

Please do not read this and think that I am feeling sorry for myself; or that I want you to feel sorry for me. Don't ... there is no reason. I just wanted to write down how I felt. If I had made the Top 10 Finalists, there would have been a similar post using some different words, that's all.

By the way, you may still see that post on National Library Week because there are a lot of days left in April. Here's a couple more words for you ... boring, unnecessary, uninspired. Let's hope I can find some more inspiration ...
Author: jill
•9:51 AM
What are your Top Five Dream Jobs? Things you would like to do to earn a living ... even if it meant getting some re-training or stepping outside your comfort zone. What would inspire you?

Here are mine ... in no particular order ...

Writer This one should be obvious for those of you who read this blog often. I love writing and expressing myself using words. And, I love research and bringing ideas together; encouraging people to look at things in a different/new way. I looked into journalism very briefly as I was exiting High School, but never followed up on it. Wish I had. Wish someone would give me an assignment now.

Coffee Barrista I would love to own a little coffee shop with high-end coffee and homemade treats. Some treats would be on the healthy side ... homemade granola bars, muffins, etc. ... and some would be not healthy at all. I am thinking of things like cheesecake, or large chocolate chip cookies with lots of "stuff" in them, or buttertarts. Indulgences. I would get to hang out all day and chat with customers; help them pick the perfect coffee to help them forget the stack on their desk for just a few moments. It would never be a franchise ... it would be unique. Warm and inviting and relaxing. Maybe host a book club ... or teen chat night ... or girls' night out. Would you come in for a coffee and a treat?

Lawyer I have commented (briefly) on my love for the law in a previous post, and I have thought about a career in the field of law for many years. When I was a teenager, there was even a time where I saw myself as a hard-nosed bitch, who worked the law to make myself very rich and very powerful. However, that is not me; must have been those ugly teenage hormones raging. But I still love the law; for me, it is a way of helping people. Being specialized is also something that appeals to me ... being an expert in a particular field. I don't feel like an expert in anything except maybe nutritious snacks for kids and the importance of sleep in the growth and development of children. Plus, if I was a lawyer, I would get to wear really fancy (dress-up) clothes and carry a really nice briefcase.

Graphic Designer I love putting colours and patterns together to make something. It can be paper that inspires me. Or fabric. Or a pattern. Or yarn. There is just something about certain colours, patterns and images that really awakens my creative juices. For instance, I had to pop down to the pharmacy to pick up some cough medicine for Addie C. ... she is driving us all crazy with "the cough." I cannot help myself ... I find myself at the magazine rack, looking at quilting magazines and knitting/crochet magazines and scrapbooking magazines; I am completely inspired and cannot wait to get home so that I can look at my fabrics. But then I talked some sense into myself ... I cannot sew and crochet while I read one hundred books. It would be impossible. Maybe that could be my project for next year. However, as a career, this would require total re-training, and perhaps a move to Toronto ... to be in the game.

Owner of a Chocolate Shop Now, you may think that I just want to be near chocolates all day long. And, you could be right. But actually, I have found that there is a real need for nut-free chocolate for those who suffer from allergies. It is nearly impossible to find high quality chocolate that is guaranteed to be free from nuts; and so, what we do as parents of children with allergies, is take chances. Chances that we do not want to take. The chocolate would be for baking, and/or for eating; maybe infused with different flavours. I want to do more than just sell it, I want to make it, too. I want to grind the cocoa beans and add the cocoa butter and create the most incredible thing you have ever tasted. It would be so exhilarating to create something and then watch, as people react to it. Mostly a pipe dream, but a true interest; however, over the next few weeks, as I am looking for a chocolatey Easter treat for my kids, I will also begin to think of ways to get the financial backing and possible locations. Check out some labels as you pick out your favourite Easter treat ... you'll see what I mean.

 Architect  I think I am attracted to this job for many of the same reasons I am attracted to the law. It is professional and specialized. It requires an attention to detail ... I am highly detail oriented. A perfectionist. I imagine that there would be problem-solving required all the time and I love problem solving ... dealing with things as they come and figuring out a way to make them better. Oh ... I complain about it at the time ... but I thrive on it in a work-place environment. I think that is one of things that kept me in my previous line of work for so long ... every day was different, and it was constantly solving problems ... client-oriented, staff related or managerial. There are only a few schools who offer an architecture program, and there are none in the Windsor area. But, I still like the idea of creating a building to meet the needs of the owner ... a house, an office building, a mall, whatever.

Wait ... that is six jobs. Well, I am glad I don't want to be a mathematician ... that would be a long road to reach perfection! I wish I had this sort of self-awareness when I was eighteen years old; I may have chosen a different path. Mid-life crisis, perhaps? But at least I am inspired ... by something other than children.

So, what brought all this on? I just finished High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. Toward the end of the novel, the main character has to come up with his Top Five Dream Jobs. I thought it was a neat exercise; because you can tell a great deal about someone by learning where their interests lie. Or, what if someone couldn't come with five dream jobs ... because there was nothing that interested them. What does that tell you about the person? Would you like to have coffee with someone (in my one-of-a-kind fantasy coffee shop) who had no interest in a career? Or, what if someone could not come up with five dream jobs because they knew exactly what they wanted to do, and it was just one thing. A mechanic or a nurse or a scientist specializing in the field of genetic research. I admire those who have a clear idea of what they want to do when they grow up. I am a grown-up and I still don't know what I am going to do.

High Fidelity is the story of Rob, a thirty-six-year old music junkie, who is trying to figure out how he fits into the world. You may have seen the movie, starring John Cusack. Rob is afraid of commitment ... he wants "to keep his options open" ... wandering through his own life as though he is waiting for something good to happen. But he doesn't do anything that would inspire good things to happen. He is afraid to take a chance; he is afraid of failure. Despite the (sort of) downer theme, the book is really funny and very entertaining. I laughed out loud reading this book, and you will too, if you read it. Hornby gives us a glimpse into the inner workings of a guys' head.

Rob owns a small failing record store, specializing in unique vintage vinyl. One day he receives a phone call from a woman indicating she has a record collection to sell and assures him he will be interested in what she has to offer. When he arrives, he finds a bitter middle-aged woman who wants to sell her husband's prized $6000 record collection for $50. He has run off with a twenty-something bimbo and she is out for revenge. Now, ladies, you know that we would have paid the $50, added our own two cents worth of advice and bad names, and walked away laughing (at the cheating husband) with all our super-cool new records. And feeling oddly satisfied that we had helped that poor woman out. Not Rob. He feels sorry for the guy because he appreciates the collection so much; he cannot pay such a meager amount for such an astonishing collection. He leaves with just one record that he insists the woman take $10 for. This is how the man's brain works; and I think lots of guys would do the same thing that Rob did. That one act is what sets men and women apart, in my opinion.

In another part of the book, Rob talks about how a photo of a child evokes a feeling of happiness or sadness ... one or the other, that is it. I had never thought of it before, but it is true. If you saw a baby picture of Barak Obama, how would you feel? I would smile, realizing the wonderful things he would go on to do. Olympic Medalist, Donovan Bailey? Same feeling. But what if you saw a baby photo of John F. Kennedy? Or, Jeffery Dalmer? How would people feel if they saw a baby picture of you?

This was a fun read, which was especially what I needed after Close Range.

I think I need to clarify one thing ... after some thought. My dream job was to be a Mom. I hope that goes without saying. But there is more, right? Something I could get paid for ... go out in the world to do ... be excited about ... feel some immediate sense of gratification? I guess I have seven Dream Jobs, but I have already accomplished one. So, time to move on to the next ...