Music to a Mother's Ears
Author: jill
•9:32 AM
Last night, while preparing supper, I spied a little piece of heaven. Nope, not cheesecake. The i-Pod. So, I boogied while I prepared meatballs. But the minute I put the i-Pod on, it attracts children. There was a parade of children with annoying questions; and each time, I have to turn off the song I am so enjoying. To listen to the annoying question.

"Mommy, do you know where the yellow crayon is?" Addie asks.

Marnie wants to know if she can put her pyjamas on before supper.

"Hey, want to play a couple levels of Mario with me?" Caiden wants to know.

No idea ... of course, I'm never opposed to pyjamas at any time of the day ... can't, or we won't get to have supper tonight ... These are my answers. But the thing is ... did these questions really need to be asked?

Do you have an i-Pod? The day that Jonesy walked into our house with an i-Pod, my life changed. It was about a year ago and it is just a little i-Pod Shuffle.

"Oh ... it's so cute," I said. "How many songs can you put on that thing?"

"Two hundred and fifty," Jonesy told me. Wow ... I figured that would be about all the songs I know. Don't forget, I'm a momoholic, so the majority of the music I have listened to for the last eight years revolved around Sesame Street or theme songs to TV shows like, Dora the Explorer or Handy Manny. And, I'll admit that I sing the Handy Manny song while chopping vegies because I know you do, too.

For the first three years of Caiden's life, he listened to nothing but classical music, like Beethoven and Bach, and our personal favourite, Mozart. Marnie also benefited from some classical music as an infant because Caiden loved it so much; but if given the choice she would always ask Daddy to turn up (loud) anything funky and dance-worthy. Addison has listened to a wide variety of music, none of it classical. I think Hannah Montana's Ice Cream Freeze is among the favourites at present.

I had forgotten what it was like to listen to music that I enjoy, just for fun. Not long after it entered the house, Jonesy insisted that I give our new little music maker a try while I was making supper one night. It was great. And do you know why it was great? Because I could not hear the children ... that I love so much. There was no screaming, there was no fighting, there was no whining! It was just music and in a strange way, it was quiet.

So, this became an escape, of sorts, for me. I could be off duty because I could not hear to respond. And everyone in the house knew when I was off duty because of the horrifying singing that accompanies this short break from motherhood ... or so I'm told. Between you and I, I don't think it's really that bad ... I've heard worse.

Do you know that my children are jealous of the i-Pod? I have been accused of loving the i-Pod more than a particular six-year-old little girl. I have been accused of not wanting to play Mario because I would rather listen to my i-Pod. Imagine being jealous of a machine. And, the reason they are jealous is because they do not have my undivided attention. I think it was the first time I had not been at their beck and call ... and they did not like it one bit. They like me better as a momoholic ... they are enablers.

I see the same happening with book and blogging. The minute I open a book, someone appears with a question or problem.

So, jealousy is the reason the parade of questions began last night as soon as the i-Pod was turned on. I took it off in a fit of frustration and the minute I did, the parade ended. But as I was putting the spaghetti in the pot, I heard ...

"Dude, guess what Mommy's makin' for supper? Our favourite ... spaghetti and meatballs. Yeah!!"

Now, that is music to a Mommy's ears.
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... And the Mom Read On ...
Author: jill
•12:34 PM
You know you're old when ... It's the beginning of many jokes, but this is for real. I had an eyelash in my eye, but I couldn't see it - to remove it - because my glasses were getting in the way. So I had to take them off. Then I just couldn't see. This is how my day started. From there my morning just continued on in the same manner it began.

"Stop goofin' around. We should have been in the car eleven minutes ago."

As a parent, can't you hear yourself saying the same thing over and over again? Don't answer that, it was rhetorical.  But, it wasn't me who said these words, it was my (almost) eight-year-old son. This is the same little boy, who last year at this time, would have been having a full-out panic attack because he had to spend the next six hours with "that woman." Now this little boy is anxious to get there and impatient with his mother's goofiness. Warms my heart, and I know he was actually enjoying my early morning singing and dancing because he spit the words out with the faintest little smirk across his lips.

On a completely different note, I found the best picture to illustrate what I was writing about the other day. I wrote about the power of the media to decide. To decide what they investigate, what to make interesting, what details to reveal. (Click on the image to see it in its entirety)



I don't think I need to say any more. I hope it makes you think and question everything you see, understanding their power.


On a much lighter note my morning did improve because after I dropped my kiddies off at school, I made my way over to Chapters. I picked up a couple of things from my list. I am a girl who needs immediate gratification. Get your mind out of the gutter ... I mean, I cannot wait for books to arrive in the mailbox. I have done it, and it is a great day when you pop over to pick up the bills mail, and they are there waiting. Instantly turns the day around for me. But I enjoy looking around and touching the books and being drawn in by the marketing. For instance, I picked up the cutest little notepads made by a company called, ecojot. I just love the designs and would like to have one of everything!! They are a company based out of Scarborough ... gotta love supporting a Canadian-based eco-friendly company! I love little notepads and journals and agendas ... oh my!!

I bought And the Band Played On (#86 on The List) today ... it is ... intimidating is the only word I can come up. It is 605 pages long, it has an index at the back and a dermatis personae (whatever that is) at the beginning. I saw the movie a few years ago, so I am familiar with the story. And the one other little problem is that it is printed in very small type ... which brings me back to my problem of being old ... or feeling old. You know you are old when ... you keep talking about all the things that are deteriorating on your body. Promise - no more on that subject!

Meanwhile, still working on The DaVinci Code ... so love this book. Trying not to get caught up in the details. Discussion coming soon....
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Back in Routine
Author: jill
•11:38 AM
"The less routine, the more life."
Amos Bronson Alcott, 1799- 1888


Once again the house is quiet. One little girl does not make very much noise ... there is no one to fight with, there is no reason to compete for attention. So, the house is quiet. The quote by Alcott is something I should embrace a little more. But it is difficult for me ... I enjoy routine and schedules ... so, for me, I'm a "Woo-Hoo: It's Quiet Girl!!"

When everyone is here, and there is yelling and crying and squealing and laughing and goofing, I long for the quiet. I mean, sometimes I go in the bathroom and lock the door and pretend it is quiet. Pretend there are no voices in the distance fighting over Barbies or screaming because a new high-score was not achieved. But once the quiet is here, I ache for them - the noise makers. I guess that old saying is true - you always want what you cannot have.

There were tears last night and this morning. It is hard to get back into routine for my little ones. Caiden will always struggle with change and transition - it is who he is. I think Marnie has learned it from her brother; by observing his reluctance to go to school. She has learned to dwell on the negative instead of embracing the positive. She was worried the kids would squish her because they all want to sit next to her during "carpet time." When I had a break from school, I can remember feeling nervous because I was afraid nobody would want to play with me. We should all be as lucky as Marnie ... imagine going to a meeting, and arriving to find your fellow colleagues arguing and pushing each other out of the way to get the chair next you. Jonesy and I often entertain ourselves by imagining children's behaviour in adult situations ... try it sometime ... like crying at the office because you did not get the last doughnut! Or, throwing a temper tantrum because your boss picked someone else. Or, wearing a princess costume into the office - this would be my favourite.

But the tears passed and they ran into the playground eager to see friends they haven't seen since way back in 2009.

And, Mommy returned to her last load of laundry, a very large pile of ironing and a dirty house that has not been cleaned in two weeks. Many things of her own to face ... not the least of which is a book, started yesterday afternoon and calling my name. It is difficult to ignore because it is so quiet in here. Cleaning can wait ...
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One Down, Ninety-Nine To Go
Author: jill
•11:33 PM
America (the Book) by Jon Stewart is not what I expected. It was funny ... I expected that. But what I did not expect is that it really was all about politics and democracy. It was actually a funny history textbook. The kind of history textbook my Dad would like. I thought that it would be more of a gossipy, funny look at politics. There was some of that, I guess, but not enough for a non-politico, like me.

It opens with a hilarious, laugh-out-loud Foreword by Thomas Jefferson. The rest of the book reads like a magazine; there are sidebars and little boxes with fun facts. It reminded me of Maxim magazine and if you have never picked up a copy of Maxim, you should because it is very funny ... if you can laugh along with the boys. If you are easily offended or find boys and their prickish sense of humours distasteful, then avoid it all costs. I stuck a copy in my suitcase when I went to the hospital to give birth once. It was nestled inbetween my crochet and foodie magazines, but don't tell Jonesy. Wait until there is someone on the cover you can tolerate, but be warned - her name is usually attached to a stupid catch phrase, like "Wet n' Wild (insert name here)." Try to see past it and toss it in your shopping cart for your husband, like any considerate and thoughtful wife would. That's what I do anyway.

America (the Book) has tons of fun things like instructions for a C-SPAN Drinking Game that we should all try at some time in our lives. There are several fun activities like the Game of Presidency, making your own flag, determining whether something is news-worthy, dressing the naked Supreme Court Justices, and matching the top news anchors to their hair styles. And how to formulate your journalist pseudonym ... more on that later. I love those name generators ... I am sucker every time. My Jersey Shores nickname is J-Pop; my Smurf name would be Killdozer; my Star Wars name is Abric Burkan; my pirate name is Smelly Fish Bluebeard. Okay, enough already. The computer ones are entertaining, but I really like the ones that take some thought. Like your porno name ... take the name of your first pet and add the street name that you grew up on ... mine is Missy Chippewa. Caiden had a book called, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants by Dav Pilkey. Professor Poopypants changes everyone's name so that we all have ridiculous names like his ... mine is Poopsie Monkeyfanny; my son, Buttercup Monkeyfanny laughed until he cried when we read this book. We generated a new silly name for everyone we knew - grandparents, teachers, friends, neighbours, people we saw on the street - probably even you. By the way, if you have young boys, the Captain Underpants series is a must for your home library!!

In America (the Book) there is a whole chapter on the Judicial Branch of the US government, and I really enjoyed it. I love the law and how it works, or doesn't work. Did you know that cameras have never been permitted inside the Supreme Court? And those who enter it, must take a sacred oath not to reveal what they have seen. What could be in there? Do they preside in hot tubs? Landmark decisions by the Supreme Court were reviewed - the Miranda Warning came to be in 1966, and Roe v. Wade took place in 1973. You know, for some reason I thought abortion rights were not proclaimed until the 1980s. One case that the book did not mention, although in my opinion was a huge legal decision, was the case of Baby M. You remember it, right? Baby M. was conceived with a surrogate through artificial insemination. After the baby's birth, the surrogate refused to relinquish the baby and a much-publicized legal battle followed.

Speaking of publicity, my favourite chapter in the book is dedicated to the Media, and more specifically, the role of media. The media, as an entity, fascinates me almost as much as the law; and not just in respect to politics or democracy. Some say that the President of the United States is the most powerful person in the world. Not me ... the media has more power than any of us realize. The role of the (free) press is to be the eyes and ears of the public, providing information and access and insight. But the problem is that they also decide which stories will be granted their eyes and ears. And sometimes, after they have sniffed around and uncovered some interesting information, they are persuaded not to release said information to the public. I read about this just recently with regards to Tiger Woods. Apparently, in 2007, the National Enquirer snapped some photos of Tiger in a parking lot with an alleged mistress. Tiger, or more specifically his legal team, struck a deal with American Media Inc., who owns both the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness. He agreed to appear on the cover of Men's Fitness in exchange for the photos. Now, I understand that whether or not Tiger Woods is revealed to be an adulterer is really not going to change the world as we know it. However, it does make me question what other stories are squashed or paid off so that they do not go public. The media has the power ... to be paid a great deal of money. A true journalist would never sell out. Ever. But his/her boss might. There is some great insight in this book, revealing how the holdings of a corporate television company can mean a new negotiating power that Stewart has termed synergy. The media is powerful.

So, my first book is done and without much ado. Actually, there was a lot of laundry a-done while I read this book. I'm glad to move forward to a piece of fiction. I will be jumping around a little ... just because. I have started The DaVinci Code and look forward to sharing what I know ... or learn.

For now, this is Jyl Joneseryl, reporting for Taken Out of Context ... Good night and good reading ...
 
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Resolving to Not Resolve
Author: jill
•2:41 PM
I do not make a New Year Resolution. I think they are ridiculous to be honest with you, but I understand why people make them. Beginning a new year is like wiping the slate clean. It's a fresh start. I get the same feeling in September when school starts - I always have. Fresh pencils, new books, a big stack of paper ... So, I often begin new projects or make changes for myself in September.

When I was in high school, I had a friend who made a New Year resolution to do something she had never done before ... wink, wink, nod, nod. We all knew what she meant, although I can't remember if that resolution was fulfilled that year. It's actually a great way to make a resolution ... it's non-specific and open to interpretation. You cannot fail ... you could make cupcakes, if you had never done that before; you could plan a trip to a place you had never visited before; you could have a baby for the first time. Think back to this past year ... did you do anything you had never done before? I did several things that I have never done before ... one thing in particular that I had hoped I would never have to do again. But it seems that will not be the case.

You might be surprised to read that I am not a big fan of New Year resolutions, considering that I just challenged myself to read one hundred books in one year. Honestly, this challenge could just as easily have started in March or July ... it just so happened that I became very bored in December. My brain needed something to do ... probably because two of my three babies are in school all day now. Most women would look for a job ... I've got plans ... but in the meantime, I needed a project.

I will write frequently about my children. Remember? I am recovering mom-oholic. My Caiden is gifted with numbers and they consume a great deal of his life. It is how he works, and he even uses them to describe how he feels sometimes. The first time he took the bus home from school, he told me he liked it fifty percent. Everything is broken down into numbers ... the highest score, the tallest, the longest, the oldest, the heaviest. This is how he operates. And so, because I deal in numbers all the time, I often think in terms of numbers as well.

It led me to ask ... who read the most books in one year? How many books did s/he read? The answer is Sarah Weinman and she read 462 books in one year. Sarah is a freelance writer and she describes herself as a speed reader; in fact, she says that she reads in chunks at a high speed, and she admits to not always knowing all the specific details of the story when she's done. I am not a speed reader and I like knowing all the details. In fact, I often get caught up in details. It's a problem, but we'll talk about that another time.

In the meantime, my whole family has become excited about my challenge. The girls and I made new bookmarks. Caiden told me he wanted to read one hundred books, too ... look for him to be a guest blogger sometime!! But the biggest surprise of all is that my husband got himself two novels to read ... Jonesy doesn't read novels. He does enjoy those really boring financial books and biographies or any type of true story but I have never known him to read a novel. Ever. One night he was on the Internet trolling for author/books, etc. (I told you - everyone is getting into the challenge), and he was enticed by a author he found. He happened upon an author who grew up in our home town, and lived right down the street from Jonesy. I, too, am intrigued and one of his novels may be one of those substitutions I talked about earlier. More about that at the time ....


And today, Jonesy made a little stop at Indigo and shopped for books ... what? Guess what he brought home? A new cookbook for me! Many women would be thoroughly offended by this and throw some kind of temper tantrum ... not me. I love cookbooks ... A LOT!! So, the way I see it, this Eve of the New Year will be spent enjoying my homemade spring rolls and browsing through Living Raw Food. Now there is a New Year's resolution ... eating only raw food. Although it can't be all that bad, 'cause the book says it contains recipes from pure food and wine. If it includes wine, it could definitely have a future at my house.

So, at midnight, the quest will begin. Should I get a good sleep tonight to wake up fresh and ready to go; or, should I stay up extra late and begin the challenge? Do you see my problem? I'm caught up in the details already ... that, and I have no life!

Stay tuned ... see you next year!!
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A Glimpse
Author: jill
•12:03 AM

Have you ever read something and then it lingers on your mind for a couple of days? It could be that you are not ready to say good-bye, or something that happened in the story made you question yourself or your ideals. Maybe it is a character that just sticks with you forever? For instance, who could forget Dickens' Miss Havisham? Wait a minute, who could forget Great Expectations for that matter?  And I always loved Daisy in the Great Gatsby -- ditzy, pretty and fun-lovin', not a care in the world. I wish I could be Daisy.

One night just before Christmas I was looking for something to do, other than obsessing over the Barbie Dream Camper, so I read Ellen Foster written by Kaye Gibbons. I love character studies and was immediately drawn in by Ellen. She's funny and resourceful and insightful; I really liked Ellen. Most importantly, she is a survivor. The story details how she came to live with her new mama, as Ellen refers to her. It is difficult to think that some children are forced to survive in this way, where they become the parent and have to fend for themselves. Ellen Foster walks away from her devestating childhood, relatively "normal" (whatever that is) and happy. She is a suprisingly strong little girl and she has learned from the things that she has had to endure. In contrast, my little girls become over-wrought with despair if their pink marker dries up or if their tights are not the exact shade of their skirt. Ellen Foster was happy to have any clothes to wear, even when she knew they were hideous, and the few trinkets that she owned were truly treasured. If I were to run into Ellen Foster now, I'm sure she would still have that microscope she bought for herself when she was eleven.

It is interesting that Ellen is eleven years old when she loses her mom. There is something about losing a parent at that age that impacts on the child's life forever. I am not implying that if your parent dies when you are eight or seventeen years old, it is any less traumatizing. However, it seems that when a child is that age, they have a very difficult time moving passed it. Rosie O'Donnell has talked openingly about the devastating loss of her mother when she was eleven years old. In his book, Dispatches from the Edge, Anderson Cooper details the loss of his father at the same age. I was left wondering what happened to Ellen when she grew up.

I was moved by the awesome impact of Ellen's new mama and the meaning of the foster care system to Ellen. You close the book believing that a foster parent can make a real difference in the life of a child. Ellen's new mama sounds like a wonderful woman, sewing curtains to match the bedspread in Ellen's bedroom and cooking homemade food with love. Most moms do these things; you and I know that but Ellen really appreciates them. Ellen makes mention of her new mama rubbing the girls' backs in an effort to comfort them. You know, I do the same thing all the time, and actually caught myself rubbing Caiden's back just the other day while I was talking to him. I hadn't even realized what I was doing, but I understand now that it is something a parent unknowingly does out of love. To comfort and sooth their child. Touch is important to a child and Ellen Foster illustrates that idea perfectly.

When I finished with Ellen, I followed it up with Kaye Gibbons' A Virtuous Woman. If you continue to follow this blog, you will soon learn how much I love words and their meanings. And by considering the various meanings of words it can change your perspective on things. Jonesy is responsible for this ... he always uses words in ways that make you think. He is an artist with puns. I'll admit, it can get a little frustrating and annoying sometimes, but for the most part it has forced me to look at things in a new way and it usually makes me laugh. Don't tell him but I often think of the pun/joke before he can say it. Which means that in some respects I have started to think like Matt Jones. This scares me.

Anyhow, you will notice that I refer to Dictionary.com all the time.

Getting back to A Virtuous Woman, I had to consider the word - virtuous. Dictionary.com defines virtuous as conforming to moral and ethical principles, and being morally excellent. But, what are the principles, and who decides that a particular quality/characteristic is virtuous. Jonesy, of course, knew the answer to this. He referred me to a website that was all about virtues and it lists commonly held virtues -- I am sure you've thought of a few yourself. Love, bravery, gratitude, responsibility. But the website, explores a different approach to the notion of virtues. The author introduces the idea that virtues come in complimentary pairs; so that for each virtue there is an opposite partner and if we tend to favour one (virtue) over the other, one becomes over-extended and the other weakened and stunted from growth; when, really, no one is any more beneficial than the other. For instance, if we agree caution is a virtue then its opposite would be bravery. If I ignore caution, I will become reckless and take too many risks. However, if I do not embrace bravery I will be cowardly and surely miss out on opportunities. One must find the balance between the two virtues because one virtue is no more valuable than the other. Try it -- think of a quality that you think is a virtue. Now consider its opposite and how you must balance the two ideals in your own life. Honesty is a virtue, but is it necessary to be completely honest in every situation? It is an interesting take on the term, and it could change the meaning of the title of the book because it implies there is something special about Ruby Pitt Woodrow. But aren't we all virtuous women?

A Virtuous Woman opens in the same way that Ellen Foster does -- talking about death. Dying and death and loss are strong themes that run throughout both novels. The story is told alternately in voice of Ruby and her husband, Blinking Jack Ernest Stokes. To be honest, in the early parts of the story Blinking Jack's description of his wife does not lead me to love her the way he does. He does it subtly but nonetheless, it influences me. And maybe I don't like her because I find smoking cigarettes so vile and disgusting. Maybe if I did smoke, or I had smoked in the past, it would not repel me so much. In the beginning of the book, Jack describes repositioning her hands while she lay in the coffin because he wanted to hide the nicotine stains on her "two ashy-smelling fingers." Honestly, what is there to like about that?

I don't know if I like Blinking Jack either and I can't for the life of me figure out why the two of them ended up together. Do you know a couple like that? I know a few, and most of the time it just makes me sad. The only reason I can come up with, is that one of the partners thinks they cannot find anyone else who will love them; which is unfortunate. It's the best explanation I can come up with for Jack and Ruby, too. Jack even says as much, I think. Jack is a simple man who enjoys a simple life. In the end, he is able to overcome his grief by replacing his wife with a piece of land. And, it seems as though Ruby accepts a life with him as punishment for the bad decisions she has made in the past.

After Ruby's first disastrous husband leaves her, she looks in an old mirror and says out loud, "'I'm doing the best I can.' Lord, we will tell ourselves anything to get by." That is so true, don't you think? Sometimes you have to lie to yourself, just for awhile, to get through something really bad. And it is okay, because it is your brain's way of protecting itself. See? You don't always have to be honest.

Both were good reads. Very thought provoking ... I'm still thinking about them ten days later. And I won't soon forget Ellen Foster ... she's a keeper.
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Confessions of a Crappy Santa
Author: jill
•3:03 PM
There is one thing every year. The thing that Santa just can't find. And, maybe it is because Santa didn't get her shopping done soon enough. Or, maybe the stupid company did not make enough of the thing. Or, maybe it is some thing that nobody has ever heard of.

This year it was the Barbie Dream Camper, and trust me, everyone has heard of it. The reason that it was not under our Christmas tree on the morning of December 25th was because Santa did not get her shopping done soon enough, I guess. That, and Walmart put them on sale for a great price, did not have enough of them, and then sold out of them in one morning. The morning that I did not even see the flyers until the afternoon. I did not know about the fabulous price until it was too late. The sales associate in the Toy Department told me that the Barbie Dream Camper sold out before nine o'clock in the morning, on the morning I did not see the flyers until the afternoon.

So, Jonesy and I searched all over the tri-county area for a Barbie Dream Camper. We could not find one anywhere and I would have paid triple the Walmart sale price if I could have found one. Let me clarify that I was willing to pay triple the price; I don't think Jonesy would have agreed with my craziness but that doesn't mean it wouldn't have happened if I could have found one. A last minute business trip to Toronto meant that Daddy was literally travelling across Southwestern Ontario a couple of days before Christmas; which also meant that the shopping malls available to me just increased dramatically. So I phoned every Walmart and Toy R Us between Windsor and Mississauga in the hopes of finding just one Barbie Dream Camper tucked away on a shelf. I hid in our closet, the door shut, crouched over a piece of paper with phone numbers scribbled on it, whispering to some stranger on the other end. Begging this stranger, who would not have to deal with the look of disappointment that I could not bear to face. There were none to be found.

So, Santa brought an awesome Barbie dollhouse instead. It stands almost as tall as she does. It is like a country house, decorated in soft pastels and pretty things. The furniture is adorable and I know that it will be a source of lots of fun. But it's not a Barbie Dream Camper. And, I did have to deal with the look of disappointment ... the look all parents dread on Christmas morning.

Santa was really not herself this year because not only did she create the whole Barbie Dream Camper fiasco, but she brought new colouring books without remembering to include new crayons and/or markers. Basically, Santa sucked this year. So, Marnie and I decided to go hit up some after Christmas sales and buy some new crayons and markers and whatever other colouring supplies we could find that would replace a Barbie Dream Camper. We were having a great time ... looking at the markers, checking out some other crafty supplies, chatting with a new mother of twin girls (sooooo cute!).

And then, she spotted it. A Barbie Dream Camper!! I wanted to take the Barbie Dream Camper and throw it across the store and scream at the top of my lungs. I can only assume that it had been returned. If I could have snuck it past her brother and sister, I would have bought it for her. But, how could I explain the new toy to the others?

"Sorry, you guys, but Santa brought the things that you asked for ..."

We left the Toy Department, without the Barbie Dream Camper, in search of mozzarella cheese for lasagna. Same look of disappointment again for the second time in a week. Same Mommy scrambling for ideas.

"Come on, Marn. Let's go find some frosting and we'll try out your new cupcake maker and decorating pen, okay?"

It is funny how the same thing that could have made one little girl's Christmas morning a complete success is so casually tossed aside by another little girl. I bet she wanted a Barbie dollhouse that stood as tall as she is.
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